Drawn out and loved unconditionally

04 Oct 2012 Leave a comment

by jennifermcintyreblog in Devotions Tags: , ,

What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else? Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all day long; we are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate. ~Romans 8:31-39 (CEB)

I have been reading in Deuteronomy the last couple of days. Deuteronomy can get bogged down with details and repetitions sometimes, but if I fade out too much I can overlook some powerful scriptures. For example, “It was not because you were more numerous than any other people that the LORD set his heart on you and chose you—for you were the fewest of all peoples. It was because the LORD loved you and kept the oath that he swore to your ancestors, that the LORD has brought you out with a mighty hand, and redeemed you from the house of slavery, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt. Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who maintains covenant loyalty with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.” ~Duet 7:7-9

So it is not by anything that I have done, or anything I could ever do that God has drawn me out and loved me. He freely gave His love to me, not because I was anything special. In Romans Chapter 8:31-39 Paul comes at this topic from a different direction than being chosen by God. Instead he talks about how once we belong to God we can never do anything to be separated from that love.

Not by anything I have done did God choose to love me. Not by anything I could ever do would God choose to stop loving me….

So what should I fear?

Heavenly Father, sometimes I find myself lost in “what others think”. Help me to remember this day that the only thing that matters is that You love me. Help me not to get swept away or distracted by what other people think of me. May my eyes be only on You and Your will for my life. Amen.

A mustard seed

03 Oct 2012 Leave a comment

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The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” The Lord replied, “If you had faith the size of a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you. ~Luke 17:5-6 (NRSV)

Have you ever thought about what it means to have faith like a mustard seed? I have always been fascinated with that parable since I was a child but I haven’t before now really ferreted out just what it means to have “mustard seed faith”.

So many times people continue to act on the terms of what they really believe, not in the terms of what they profess to believe. Just because you say with your mouth that you believe in something but if in your heart you do not believe your actions soon will go where your heart has been all along. With only minor adjustments here and there, we always live up to what we feel in our heart but rarely do we live up to what we profess.

The only way we can grow in genuine faith is to put into practice what little faith we have. We have to have faith to begin to grow in faith. “For in it the righteousness of God is revealed through faith for faith; as it is written, “The one who is righteous will live by faith.” (Roman 1:17) So faith as tiny as a mustard seed is all we need to grow into more faith. The reason that the kingdom of heaven is like the mustard seed is because it grows in us and around us.

So “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” ~Proverbs 4:23 (NRSV)

Heavenly Father, take this small seed of faith that I have planted in my heart. Please water it and encourage it to grow. Feed my heart and give me strength so that I may bloom for You. Amen

Rest for heavy loads

28 Sep 2012 Leave a comment

by jennifermcintyreblog in Devotions Tags: , , ,

Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves. ~Matthew 11:28-29 (CEB)

“You have been wounded in many ways. The more you open yourself to being healed, the more you will discover how deep your wounds are. You will be tempted to become discouraged, because under every wound you uncover you will find other. Your search for true healing will be a suffering search. Many tears still need to be shed.

But do not be afraid. The simple fact that you are more aware of your wounds shows that you have sufficient strength to face them.

The great challenge is living your wounds through instead of thinking them through. It is better to cry than to worry, better to feel your wounds deeply than to understand the, better to let them enter into your silence than to talk about them.” ~From The Inner Voice of Love by Henri Nouwen

Heavenly Father, you promise us strength for the journey. I claim that strength for today. I look not to tomorrow just on this moment by moment led me through yet one more day. Amen.

Stand firm

21 Sep 2012 Leave a comment

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My brothers and sisters, think of the various tests you encounter as occasions for joy. After all, you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. Let this endurance complete its work so that you may be fully mature, complete, and lacking in nothing. But anyone who needs wisdom should ask God, whose very nature is to give to everyone without a second thought, without keeping score. Wisdom will certainly be given to those who ask. Whoever asks shouldn’t hesitate. They should ask in faith, without doubting. Whoever doubts is like the surf of the sea, tossed and turned by the wind. People like that should never imagine that they will receive anything from the Lord. They are double-minded, unstable in all their ways. Brothers and sisters who are poor should find satisfaction in their high status. Those who are wealthy should find satisfaction in their low status, because they will die off like wildflowers. The sun rises with its scorching heat and dries up the grass so that its flowers fall and its beauty is lost. Just like that, in the midst of their daily lives, the wealthy will waste away. Those who stand firm during testing are blessed. They are tried and true. They will receive the life God has promised to those who love him as their reward. ~James 1:2-12 (CEB)

On this path of where I am at the moment moving on towards who I am supposed to be, I find myself restless for the not-yet. I cannot let myself get distracted in this time of in-between. Now more than ever I need a firm foundation under my feet. I can’t afford to let Satan find me distracted. If I build now on sandy ground I won’t be able to stand up to future pressures. This is the time to store up wisdom. With time on my hands I shouldn’t be idle, I don’t want to be caught unaware only to be tossed around when the winds start to blow. This in between time is just another moment of testing.

Heavenly Father, although it is difficult to find joy in the testing I do recognize that these trials are a vehicle to building my faith; faith will build endurance; endurance will bring maturity and wisdom for the journey. I may not be always joyful but I am thankful for the growth and the tools that enable me to better do You will for my life. Amen.

Best laid plans

15 Sep 2012 Leave a comment

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But now, says the LORD— the one who created you, Jacob, the one who formed you, Israel: Don’t fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; when through the rivers, they won’t sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you won’t be scorched and flame won’t burn you. ~Isa. 43:1-2 (CEB)

I am a planner yet there are days where the best laid plans get interrupted. Once in a while those days turn into day after day of difficulties and darkness no matter how much I long for lighter loads and light paths. Then there are other times where everything is going just as I planned and I should feel on top of the world when suddenly I find myself hanging on by my fingernails over a cliff. It is good for me to realize in these moments that I am not the only person to find myself in the darkness, with difficulties, or disappointing surprises in the midst of faithful sunny days.

When I read Mark 6 I find that Jesus has encountered rejection in his hometown. This is the first missionary venture with his disciples. It comes after the death of John, the feeding of the five thousand, walking on water and the healing in Gennesaret. Just in chapter 6 alone do I witness one end of the emotional scale to the other, Jesus experiences great sadness, great miracles as well as great disappointments all in a short period of time. Talk about an emotional roller coaster!

Compared to Jesus and the disciples’ lives, my life may seem a bit steadier. The peaks and valleys a little more subdued than what they experienced. However, I do live through those periods when nothing seems to go my way, the winds of life are blowing against me and I am working hard but gaining no ground. This is the same place the disciples found themselves as they strained at the oars against adverse wind. Just as Jesus appeared to them he appears to me in the midst of my terrors: “Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid” (Mark 6:50) My storm can be over the moment I choose to recognize Jesus.

Such experiences can be used to sharpen my ability to see God at work in the midst of my life if I will let it. I am not alone when things are not going my way, just as I was not alone when things were going my way. Everything I experience is an opportunity to pay attention to God’s presence and to call for God to work in my life.

Heavenly Father, help me to remember while I am in the midst of the storm to look up to find Your face for I know that once my eyes land on You the storm begins to settle. Take my hand this day as I walk along. May I hear Your voice nudge me this way or that as I pursue Your will for this day. Amen.

Satisfaction in parched places

13 Sep 2012 Leave a comment

by jennifermcintyreblog in Devotions Tags: , , ,

If you offer your food to the hungry and satisfy the needs of the afflicted then your light shall rise in the darkness and your gloom will be like the noonday. The Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your needs in parched places, and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters never fail. ~Isa. 58:10-11

What I most desire for you is a certain calmness which recollection, detachment, and love of God alone can give. St. Augustine says that whatever we love outside God, so much the less do we love [God]. It is as a brook whence part of the waters is turned aside. Such a diversion takes away from that which is God’s and thence arise harassment and trouble. God would have all, and [God’s] jealousy cannot endure a divided heart. The slightest affection apart from [God] becomes a hindrance, and causes estrangement. The soul can only look to find peace in love without reserve. ~From The Royal Way of the Cross: Letters and Spiritual Counsels of Francois de Salignac de la Mothe-Fenelon

May I this day O Lord, allow my steps to be guided by you. I seek your calmness as I recall that you will meet all my needs. Make my bones strong in this parched desert. Send your waters to quench my thirst. May You not find my heart divided but filled with you. Amen.

Hills… and mountain tops

12 Sep 2012 Leave a comment

by jennifermcintyreblog in Devotions Tags: , , , , ,

I have fought the good fight, finished the race, and kept the faith. At last the champion’s wreath that is awarded for righteousness is waiting for me. The Lord, who is the righteous judge, is going to give it to me on that day. He’s giving it not only to me but also to all those who have set their heart on waiting for his appearance. ~2Timothy 4:7-8 (CEB)

Recently I was talking with someone about a 5K I was interested in. She told me that the route would be fast because there were not really any hills in the course that had been mapped out. This is unusual for East Tennessee! I thought, well this is good news!

Today when I was out running it occurred to me that without going up a hill there is no “down hills” to glide through on the other side. Yes running up a hill is hard work, but there is such elation when you make to the top, then you have the reward of being carried away with momentum down the other side.

I have not always felt this way about hills. When I first began to run I really dreaded those hills. I was too busy gasping for air to notice where I had been, what I had accomplished or even appreciate the fact that now I had the downside of the hill to enjoy.

As Christians we often talk about “mountain top experiences”. Those awesome moments when we just know God loves us and can feel His presence. The only way we can have these mountainous moments with God is by trekking up the mountain to be with Him.

Often I have found that the mountain top moments with God come after having gone through a really difficult time. The mountain top moment is when I realize I have not only survived the struggle but now at the top of that mountain I have clarity of where I have been and a glimpse of where I am going. On top of the mountain I can see how God has loved me through the moments up that mountain sometimes walking with me, sometimes carrying me, and sometimes dragging me.

I have decided I want hills and mountains in my path. Oh, I don’t wish hard times on myself, but growth and strength are gained by heading up those hills and mountains. Life is a full contact effort. Running circles in the valleys do not lead us to God. We must always tackle those mountains remembering at the top of each mountain, we find God.

Heavenly Father, when times get tough and I find that another mountain looms in front of me, please give me the courage and strength to tackle that uphill climb. May I not find myself running circles, avoiding the hard work or fearing injury. Instead, help me remember that at the top of that mountain I will find You! Amen.

Switches

11 Sep 2012 Leave a comment

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In the same way, the Spirit comes to help our weakness. We don’t know what we should pray, but the Spirit himself pleads our case with unexpressed groans. The one who searches hearts knows how the Spirit thinks, because he pleads for the saints, consistent with God’s will. We know that God works all things together for good for the ones who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose. We know this because God knew them in advance, and he decided in advance that they would be conformed to the image of his Son. That way his Son would be the first of many brothers and sisters. Those who God decided in advance would be conformed to his Son, he also called. Those whom he called, he also made righteous. Those whom he made righteous, he also glorified. So what are we going to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He didn’t spare his own Son but gave him up for us all. Won’t he also freely give us all things with him? ~Romans 8:26-32 (CEB)

My son has been running around for 3 or 4 mornings singing his “Happy Day” song that he made up. It is sappy but his happiness makes me smile. His dance makes me laugh. I relax. I wish I could say this was his everyday song. Unfortunately there seems to be more mornings than not, that are not quite so happy. I told a friend of mine I am just riding that happy wave and enjoying his cheerfulness but if I could figure a way to bottle it I would save some of that cheerfulness for days that seem to be lacking its share of cheer. If only I knew how to flip that switch “on” for him when I wanted to.

Do you know the switch? It shows up in many forms, the running switch, the mood switch, or the healthy eating switch. When my running switch is on I am thrilled to run every day. When it is switched off I have to force myself to go out. Sometimes I don’t even quiet make it out the door. When the healthy switch is on I love rabbit food. When it is switched off junk foods of the worst kind call my name. Then there are my own moods. Some days I wake up and I feel like the sun is shining inside of me. The world sees bright before I even have stepped into it. Then there are days with no rhyme or reason that feel like a fog has rolled in deep into my soul. Every fiber of my being just seems to ache.

This is one benefit of age. Having lived through them, I know the bad moments are just for a time. Not forever. The more I pretend to be “switched on” the sooner I get back to actually feeling the way I want to feel. I think a public speaker put it this way, “Do what is right it until it feels right.” This also brings to  my mind the verse from Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

There are days that the only way I make it through is by trusting God with my whole heart. I believe that He does have a plan for me and that He is working all things for my good. Even my bad moments are used for His ultimate glory. Today though I have my son’s “Happy Day” song running through my head and I have it tucked in my heart for another moment where I find that I might need it.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for” Happy Day” songs. Bring them to mind when my spirit is down. Help me to remember to dance through the bad moments on my way to the good times knowing you dance along with me. Amen.

Invasion of memories

09 Sep 2012 Leave a comment

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So now there isn’t any condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. The law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death. God has done what was impossible for the Law, since it was weak because of selfishness. God condemned sin in the body by sending his own Son to deal with sin in the same body as humans, who are controlled by sin. He did this so that the righteous requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us. Now the way we live is based on the Spirit, not based on selfishness. People whose lives are based on selfishness think about selfish things, but people whose lives are based on the Spirit think about things that are related to the Spirit. The attitude that comes from selfishness leads to death, but the attitude that comes from the Spirit leads to life and peace. So the attitude that comes from selfishness is hostile to God. It doesn’t submit to God’s Law, because it can’t. People who are self-centered aren’t able to please God. But you aren’t self-centered. Instead you are in the Spirit, if in fact God’s Spirit lives in you. If anyone doesn’t have the Spirit of Christ, they don’t belong to him. If Christ is in you, the Spirit is your life because of God’s righteousness, but the body is dead because of sin.  If the Spirit of the one who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you, the one who raised Christ from the dead will give life to your human bodies also, through his Spirit that lives in you. ~Romans 8:1-11

“It may sound paradoxical, but no man is condemned for anything he has done; he is condemned for continuing to do wrong. He is condemned for not coming out of the darkness, for not coming to the light, the living God, who sent the light, His Son, into the world to guide him home.” ~From Creation in Christ, by George Macdonald

“Condemnation is a heavy burden to bear. No matter the source of the condemnation and no matter the reason, condemnation crushes the life out of us all when given the opportunity. Many of us live our lives condemned because we have been unable or unwilling to permit that burden to be removed. Sometimes the condemnation is self-imposed, and we just cannot forgive ourselves for what seems to be, in our own estimation, some great failure. Sometimes the condemnation comes from outside ourselves for failures in the eyes of others. Whether these failures are relatively insignificant or enormous, the burden of condemnation is hard to bear. Therefore the words of Jesus- “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again” (John 8:11)- are music to our ears. To know that we do not need to carry the failures of the past into the future is good news indeed. Jesus came not to condemn the world but to save the world (John 3:17). The good news for all of us declares that the chains binding us to past failures can be broken; we can be set free to live all our tomorrows without condemnation.

Stop and think for a moment about all those memories that keep invading your consciousness to convince you that you are condemned. And then remember these words of the New Testament; “Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us” (Rom 8:34). There is no condemnation for those who walk with Christ.~Rueben P. Job, A Guide to Prayer for all Who Seek God

All my crushing moments I give to You today O Lord. The memories, the shame, the self-destruction I give to You. No longer do I want to lug around these burdens. I want to come out into the light, please scatter all my shadows. Amen.

Today, I run

06 Sep 2012 Leave a comment

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If I did want to brag, I wouldn’t make a fool of myself because I’d tell the truth. I’m holding back from bragging so that no one will give me any more credit than what anyone sees or hears about me. I was given a thorn in my body because of the outstanding revelations I’ve received so that I wouldn’t be conceited. It’s a messenger from Satan sent to torment me so that I wouldn’t be conceited. I pleaded with the Lord three times for it to leave me alone. He said to me, “My grace is enough for you, because power is made perfect in weakness.” So I’ll gladly spend my time bragging about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power can rest on me. Therefore, I’m all right with weaknesses, insults, disasters, harassments, and stressful situations for the sake of Christ, because when I’m weak, then I’m strong. ~2 Cor 12:6-10 (CEB)

When I was eight a tumor was found on my leg. You know how it is, one moment you are going about your normal everyday life, the next you don’t recognize your life anymore. Even though it was determined that the tumor was not cancerous we were still left with a frightening unknown. The doctors couldn’t remove it without injuring my leg. They determined the least harm was to allow it to remain since it was non-cancerous and to reevaluate the situation after I had stopped growing. But we had to always watch and if it changed in any way they would reevaluate the situation sooner.

So I was sent home to live my life. I remember standing in the hall in school wondering how noticeable this bump on my leg was to everyone around me. Even into my teen years I still prayed for the tumor to “magically” disappear. In the evenings when the 700 club would come on and prayers were said for healing I couldn’t help but hold my breath that I just might be healed too. I struggled between guilt about wishing the tumor away and trying to be thankful that I was really okay despite my  feelings. The fear of the tumor “mysteriously changing” into something bad haunted my dreams.

As a result of the tumor, my leg did pain me from time to time and my parents didn’t push me towards activities that greatly strained my leg. Looking back I almost feel that I was discouraged from doing anything that might stress my leg. We had been conditioned to baby it. Although I have always been active there was the underlying fear of injuring that leg.

I lived my life like that for 30 years, always with the shadow of this lump on my leg changing into something frightening but trying to be thankful that I didn’t have cancer. I couldn’t help praying from time to time for the tumor to just go away. What do you do with heartfelt unanswered prayers? Personally I kept putting the issue back on the shelf since I had no answers then taking it back down again from time to time. Then one day something strange happened. I developed this unexplainable desire to run.

For two years I tried to be happy with just hiking and biking and long walks, but the desire to run would not leave. Finally I decided I would actually join a running club and just see how things went. By that May I participated in my first 5K. I felt so elated when I crossed that finish line. First that I didn’t embarrass myself by collapsing but also that I had actually managed to do what I thought I would never be able to do. Run.

I often think of Paul in the Bible. His words often speak straight to my heart. This tumor was just one of many thorns that God has not removed from my life.  In the 18 months that I have run there have been so many life lessons I have learned. First it was struggling through those beginning miles about endurance and determination and that it is still okay to have dreams and go after them. I have learned that life is so much like running. There is pain. You have to learn what to work through and what to avoid. I have learned that sometimes it is frightening and overwhelming, but the rewards in the end are great. God did not remove this tumor, though I was faithful in prayer. He chose to show me through this tumor that with Him, I could conquer a long ingrained fear. His grace really is enough.

I don’t take for granted that I will always be able to run. With each run I am ever aware that it might be my last. But that last is not today. Today, I run.

Heavenly Father, I stand amazed at grace. Instead of removing a deeply ingrained fear, You choose to help me work through it enabling me to be able to dream bigger. I thank You for Your plans for me to prosper. I thank You for giving me hope and a future. Amen.

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