Pieces of the Puzzle

When they hand you over, do not worry about how you are to speak or what you are to say; for what you are to say will be given to you at that time; for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. ~Matthew 10:19-20 (RSV)

“When we are anxious we are inclined to over prepare.  We wonder what to say when we are attacked, how to respond when we are being interrogated, and what defense to put up when we are accused.   It is precisely this turmoil that makes us lose our self-confidence and creates in us a debilitating self-consciousness.

Jesus tells us not to prepare at all and to trust that he will give us the words and wisdom we need.  What is important is not that we have a little speech ready but that we remain deeply anchored in the love of Jesus, secure about who we are in this world and why we are here.  With our hearts connected to the heart of Jesus, we will always know what to say when the time to speak comes.” ~ From Bread for the Journey by Henri Nouwen

Anxiousness is a sign of distrust. If I can trust God to be there for me in all my moments, than I will not over prepare. Over preparing does not make the situation any better. Over preparing makes me rely on myself. When I rely on self it just tends to cause me to lose my self-confidence because I have taken my sights off God. What a good reminder that as long as I put God’s words in my heart I will find the wisdom I need when I need it. Security is never in self. Security is found through Jesus.

Heavenly Father, help me to keep my eyes on You as I go about the work that needs to be done today. May I find through Jesus the confidence I need to face this and every day. Amen.

With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this: Our Father in heaven, Reveal who you are. Set the world right; Do what’s best– as above, so below. Keep us alive with three square meals. Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others. Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil. You’re in charge! You can do anything you want! You’re ablaze in beauty! Yes. Yes. Yes. “In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part. Matthew 6:9-15 (Message)

Some final tough words on forgiveness for my heart when it feels that it has just has the right to hold on to that wrong for a little while longer because you know, “I have a right to be mad!”

“It may be infinitely less evil to murder a man then to refuse to forgive him. The former may be the act of a moment of passion: the latter is the heart’s choice. It is spiritual murder, the worst, to hate, to brood over the feeling that excluded, that kills the image, the idea of the hatred.” ~From Creation in Christ by George McDonaold

When I want to hold on to my “rightful hurt feelings”, it is sobering to remember that I do so much more harm to myself for holding on to hurts no matter how justified it might seem. Harboring such hurt makes it hard to find God’s face and therefore I feel even more alone. This anger though justified just isn’t worth my isolation from God. I want to feel His mercies toward me so I must extend mercy to others. And so I move on.

Heavenly Father, I don’t want to be separated from you any longer. Help me to wade through this junk and move on. It is time. Amen.

Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves. ~Matthew 11:28-29 (CEB)

“You have been wounded in many ways. The more you open yourself to being healed, the more you will discover how deep your wounds are. You will be tempted to become discouraged because under every wound you uncover you will find other. Your search for true healing will be a suffering search. Many tears still need to be shed.

But do not be afraid. The simple fact that you are more aware of your wounds shows that you have sufficient strength to face them.

The great challenge is living your wounds through instead of thinking them through. It is better to cry than to worry, better to feel your wounds deeply than to understand the, better to let them enter into your silence than to talk about them.” ~From The Inner Voice of Love by Henri Nouwen

Heavenly Father, you promise us strength for the journey. I claim that strength for today. I look not to tomorrow just on this moment by moment led me through yet one more day. Amen.

Pray like this: Our Father who is in heaven, uphold the holiness of your name. Bring in your kingdom so that your will is done on earth as it’s done in heaven. Give us the bread we need for today. Forgive us for the ways we have wronged you, just as we also forgive those who have wronged us. And don’t lead us into temptation, but rescue us from the evil one. “If you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your sins. ~Matthew 6:9-15 (CEB)

The initial steps of forgiveness are hard for me because first I “feel”. It takes time for me to find words for what I am feeling. But I have to take that time to sort through what I am feeling or the words will never form. Sorrow just can’t be pushed away as if it doesn’t exist. It must be taken out and sorted through. If that time is not given to sort through my pain the pain turns into a deep, deep sorrow with no name and no hope.

“Forgiveness can be the great cleansing action that allows one to begin again. Retribution or restitution is not enough. They serve as payback but they do not allow for the deep scouring that is necessary to truly start anew. The ancient Israelites knew the principle well for they instituted the practice of the Sabbath year. Each seventh year was set aside so that all could begin over again: fields lay and all debts were forgiven. This crucial period of rest was seen as necessary for the harmonious functioning of society and the fertility of the land. The earth can be depleted, our societies become imbalanced and unjust. Similarly, as individuals and as families we require a time of absolution so that we might truly begin again and become fertile fields that yield a rich harvest.

The prayer most identified with Christianity, the one taught to us by Jesus himself, incorporates the crucial insight that forgiveness is a key ingredient as we live into the promised kingdom.” ~From The Time Between by Wendy M Wright.

Forgiveness. It is what I must do to be strong and healthy so that I am able to continue on this journey called life. If I am unable to forgive others how can I begin to ask forgiveness for the wrongs I do? I cannot expect from others what I am not willing to do myself.

Lord, when my heart is breaking from real or perceived hurts, help me to take the time to sort through and find the truth. Help me to put words to the feelings I have. Give me the strength that I do not possess on my own, to forgive unconditionally. Amen.

As Jesus sat down to eat in Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners joined Jesus and his disciples at the table. 11 But when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” 12 When Jesus heard it, he said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor, but sick people do. 13 Go and learn what this means: I want mercy and not sacrifice. I didn’t come to call righteous people, but sinners.” ~Matthew 9:10-13 (CEB)

Following the way of forgiveness prepares us to go one step further. Something more is asked of us by Jesus: “Go and learn the meaning of the words, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.”  I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners” (Matthew 9:13 [NAB]).

This “something more” is compassion. Once we grasp the depth of God’s merciful love for us, he wants us to express that same compassion for others. This is the balm that softens the scars of sinfulness and suffering. As we show mercy to others, so they will extend the blessing to us in turn.

Ask yourself some revealing questions; Do I sense the presence of the suffering Christ in others? Do I share their pain? Am I aware of their vulnerability? Do I know that the need for mercy is often hidden under a mask of self-sufficiency, coldness, and indifference? ~From Divine Guidance by Susan Muto and Adrian Van Kaam

May the sacrifices I bring you this day, be mercy triggered by compassion. May the love I bring hold no judgment or condemnation. May the blessings I bring be given freely, not with strings attached. Amen.

“Now when the Human One comes in his majesty and all his angels are with him, he will sit on his majestic throne. All the nations will be gathered in front of him. He will separate them from each other, just as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right side. But the goats he will put on his left. “Then the king will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who will receive good things from my Father. Inherit the kingdom that was prepared for you before the world began. I was hungry and you gave me food to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger and you welcomed me. I was naked and you gave me clothes to wear. I was sick and you took care of me. I was in prison and you visited me.’”~Matthew 25:31-36 (CEB)

“I always explain to the sisters, “It is Christ you tend in the poor. It is his wounds you bathe, his sores you clean, his limbs you bandage. See beyond appearances, hear the words Jesus pronounced long ago. They are still operative today: What you do to the least of mine, you do it to me. When you serve the poor, you serve our Lord Jesus Christ.” ~From My Life for the Poor by Mother Teresa

Heavenly Father, when I go out into the world today, help me to see You in Your children. May I only respond with love to those I meet. Amen.

Therefore, as God’s choice, holy and loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Be tolerant with each other and, if someone has a complaint against anyone, forgive each other. As the Lord forgave you, so also forgive each other. And over all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.  The peace of Christ must control your hearts—a peace into which you were called in one body. And be thankful people. The word of Christ must live in you richly. Teach and warn each other with all wisdom by singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Sing to God with gratitude in your hearts. Whatever you do, whether in speech or action, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus and give thanks to God the Father through him. ~Colossians 3:12-17 (CEB)

If I claim to be a follower of Jesus I cannot ignore the needs of the world, neither can I look away from the needs of the world. If my life is modeled after the one I claim to follow, then I will, as Jesus did, look with compassion upon all who cross my path. Seeing as Jesus does requires the further step of seeking to alleviate the pain that stirs up my compassion.

The author of Colossians calls the followers of Christ to clothe themselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. It is interesting to note that the first of them is compassion. As a chosen child of God, it is my only option. To be chosen by God’s beloved one I cannot help but reciprocate with gratitude and goodness. Therefore my response of compassion for the world is really a response of the Love God has unqualifiedly given.

When Jesus saw a need, he had compassion, but it didn’t stop there. He sought to remedy that need. The pain I see in the world draws out compassion from within me but compassion does no one any good if it remains just a feeling. It must be turned into action.

Heavenly Father, You’ve given me Your eyes to see, You hands to do, Your love to give to the hurts I see around me. Help me to draw upon the strength You promised me to stand up for those You love, to love with Your heart those You love. When I open my mouth may it only be Your words that pour forth. Amen.

Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.  Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called sons of God. ~Matt 5:7-9 (ASV)

“To bless means to say good things.  We have to bless one another constantly.  Parents need to bless their children, children their parents, husbands their wives, wives their husbands, friends their friends.  In our society, so full of curses, we must fill each place we enter with our blessings.  We forget so quickly that we are God’s beloved children and allow the many curses of our world to darken our hearts.  Therefore we have to be reminded of our belovedness and remind others of theirs.  Whether the blessing is given in words or with gestures, in a solemn or an informal way, our lives need to be blessed lives.” ~From Bread for the Journey by Henri Nouwen

Words good or bad have such an effect on the people in our lives. The words we throw around carelessly can never be recaptured, only wounds can be patched up not repaired. But it is also important to be conscious of the words left unsaid. The “I love you” left off of a good-bye cannot be pasted on at a later time. There might not be a chance to. Also words of encouragement are important. Maybe even more important that the I love you’s.

Older church liturgy addressed in the Sunday service, our daily sins and our sins of omission. I wonder what daily things left unsaid I should ask forgiveness for? Did I barely glance up when my daughter left the house today? Was I busy writing when my son needed words of assurance? Did I slow down when my husband walked through the door? How about that skype call I ignored?

The Common English Version of the Bible says verses 7-9 from Chapter 5 this way, “Happy are people who show mercy, because they will receive mercy. Happy are people who have pure hearts, because they will see God. Happy are people who make peace, because they will be called God’s children.” I like this reminder. Not only am I slowing down and taking notice of those I love but when I remember to bless those around me I am blessed too.

Heavenly Father, Help me this day to remember to care for those you have placed in my journey. May I not only be careful of the words I say but also be aware of the things that should not have been left unsaid. Amen.

My brothers and sisters, think of the various tests you encounter as occasions for joy. After all, you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. Let this endurance complete its work so that you may be fully mature, complete, and lacking in nothing. But anyone who needs wisdom should ask God, whose very nature is to give to everyone without a second thought, without keeping score. Wisdom will certainly be given to those who ask. Whoever asks shouldn’t hesitate. They should ask in faith, without doubting. Whoever doubts is like the surf of the sea, tossed and turned by the wind. People like that should never imagine that they will receive anything from the Lord. They are double-minded, unstable in all their ways. Brothers and sisters who are poor should find satisfaction in their high status. Those who are wealthy should find satisfaction in their low status, because they will die off like wildflowers. The sun rises with its scorching heat and dries up the grass so that its flowers fall and its beauty is lost. Just like that, in the midst of their daily lives, the wealthy will waste away. Those who stand firm during testing are blessed. They are tried and true. They will receive the life God has promised to those who love him as their reward. ~James 1:2-12 (CEB)

On this path of where I am at the moment moving on towards who I am supposed to be, I find myself restless for the not-yet. I cannot let myself get distracted in this time of in-between. Now more than ever I need a firm foundation under my feet. I can’t afford to let Satan find me distracted. If I build now on sandy ground I won’t be able to stand up to future pressures. This is the time to store up wisdom. With time on my hands, I shouldn’t be idle, I don’t want to be caught unaware only to be tossed around when the winds start to blow. This in-between time is just another moment of testing.

Heavenly Father, although it is difficult to find joy in the testing I do recognize that these trials are a vehicle to building my faith; faith will build endurance; endurance will bring maturity and wisdom for the journey. I may not be always joyful but I am thankful for the growth and the tools that enable me to better do You will for my life. Amen.

So did something good bring death to me? Absolutely not! But sin caused my death through something good so that sin would be exposed as sin. That way sin would become even more thoroughly sinful through the commandment. We know that the Law is spiritual, but I’m made of flesh and blood, and I’m sold as a slave to sin. I don’t know what I’m doing, because I don’t do what I want to do. Instead, I do the thing that I hate. But if I’m doing the thing that I don’t want to do, I’m agreeing that the Law is right. But now I’m not the one doing it anymore. Instead, it’s sin that lives in me. I know that good doesn’t live in me—that is, in my body. The desire to do good is inside of me, but I can’t do it. I don’t do the good that I want to do, but I do the evil that I don’t want to do. But if I do the very thing that I don’t want to do, then I’m not the one doing it anymore. Instead, it is sin that lives in me that is doing it. So I find that, as a rule, when I want to do what is good, evil is right there with me. I gladly agree with the Law on the inside, but I see a different law at work in my body. It wages a war against the law of my mind and takes me prisoner with the law of sin that is in my body. I’m a miserable human being. Who will deliver me from this dead corpse? Thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then I’m a slave to God’s Law in my mind, but I’m a slave to sin’s law in my body. ~Romans 713:25 (CEB)

Jesus came to Earth to give us life. To walk away from the darkness is sometimes a moment by moment choice away from past habits. Sometimes we feel that we are being ruled by our impulses. That we are doing that which we do not want to do and not doing the things we want to do. We can feel out of control sometimes.

“Choosing life instead of death demands an act of will that often contradicts our impulses.  Our impulses want to take revenge, while our wills want to offer forgiveness.  Our impulses push us to an immediate response:  When someone hits us in the face, we impulsively want to hit back.

How then can we let our wills dominate our impulses?   The key word is wait.  Whatever happens, we must put some space between the hostile act directed toward us and our response.  We must distance ourselves, take time to think, talk it over with friends, and wait until we are ready to respond in a life-giving way.  Impulsive responses allow evil to master us, something we always will regret.   But a well thought-through response will help us to ‘master evil with good’ (Romans 12.21).” ~From Bread for the Journey, Henri Nowen

It is not enough to have the desire to do what is good. Through Jesus and some conscious thought about my actions I can begin to become the person I want to be. I want to be “living” for God.

Heavenly Father, I want to LIVE for You. Please guide my steps this day. Help me to remember when implusles threaten to send me back into old ways of death that I can “wait” it through with You and friends until a life-giving way is revealed and I can walk back into light. I want to live this day without regrets. I want to live this day for You. Amen.