The one who touched my heart

He said: I love you, LORD, my strength. The LORD is my solid rock, my fortress, my rescuer. My God is my rock— I take refuge in him!— he’s my shield, my salvation’s strength, my place of safety. Because he is praiseworthy,I cried out to the LORD, and I was saved from my enemies. Death’s cords were wrapped around me; rivers of wickedness terrified me. The cords of the grave surrounded me; death’s traps held me tight. In my distress I cried out to the LORD; I called to my God for help. God heard my voice from his temple; I called to him for help, and my call reached his ears. ~Psalm 18:1-6

“Becoming the Beloved is the great spiritual journey we have to make. Augustine’s words: ‘My soul is restless until it rests in you, O God,’ capture well this journey. I know that the fact that I am always searching for God, always struggling to discover the fullness of Love, always yearning for the complete truth, tells me that I have already been given a taste of God, of Love and Truth. I can only look for something that I have, to some degree, already found. How can I search for beauty and truth unless that beauty and truth are already known to me in the depth of my heart? It seems that all of us human beings have deep inner memories of the paradise that we have lost. Maybe the word ‘innocence’ is better than the word ‘paradise.’ We were innocent before we started feeling guilty; we were in the light before we entered into the darkness; we were at home before we started to search for a home. Deep in the recesses of our minds and hearts there lies hidden the treasure we seek. We know its preciousness, and we know that it holds the gift we most desire: a life stronger than death.” ~From Life of the Beloved by Henri J.M. Nouwen

I always believed that God touched me in my mother’s womb. Maybe He does us all. That would explain this longing we have deep inside us for something more, something that will complete us.  It is a comfort to know that I was made to long and search for a home that is mine. Maybe that is why I never felt that I was in a place where I completely belonged. I am meant to feel that I am only passing through. I am not meant to feel complete until I have found the One Who touched my heart. I am not meant to feel at home until I am home with Jesus.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for the Fullness of Your love. I thank You for touching my heart and calling to me from my mother’s womb. I thank you for calling to me, asking me just to seek… to seek the treasures that I would find if only I would start on that journey. I thank You for sending Your Son to show me the Way. Amen.  

Through the valley

 

You will be secure, for there is hope; you will look around and rest safely. You will lie down without anyone to scare you; many will beg for your favor. ~Job 11:18-19 (CEB)

Solitude is the garden for our hearts, which yearn for love. It is the place where our aloneness can bear fruit. It is the home for our restless bodies and anxious minds. Solitude, whether it is connected with a physical space or not, is essential for our spiritual lives. It is not an easy place to be, since we are so insecure and fearful that we are easily distracted by whatever promises immediate satisfaction. Solitude is not immediately satisfying, because in solitude we meet our demons, our addictions, our feelings of lust and anger, and our immense need for recognition and approval. But if we do not run away, we will meet there also the One who says, “Do not be afraid. I am with you, and I will guide you through the valley of darkness.” ~ From Bread for the Journey by Henri J. M. Nouwen

O Heavenly Father, I know that You hear me out of the depths of my solitude. Help me stand my ground so that I meet my demons head on. Hold my hand as I walk through this valley. Steady my steps so that I won’t stumble and fall. I know You are my God and I am Your beloved child. Amen.

Musing

Finally, let’s draw near to the throne of favor with confidence so that we can receive mercy and find grace when we need help. ~Hebrews 4:16 (CEB)

“Learning to listen within our hearts may not come easily. We muse, Does God call ordinary people like us? And if so, to what? How can we distinguish God’s choice from all of the other voices that clamor at us- those of our culture, peer pressure, our careers, our egos? Amid our secular lives, where can we find support for our calls? And how can we remain faithful and accountable?

Christians have always struggled to understand what God would have them do. In 1835, Soren Kierkegaard wrote in his journal, What I really lack is to be clear in my mind what I am to do, not what I am to know… The thing is to understand myself, to see what God really wishes me to do… What good would it do me to be able to explain the meaning of Christianity if it had no deeper significance for me and for my life?” ~From Listening Hearts by Suzanne G. Farnham et al.

Setting aside time each day helps me to hear God’s voice amid the chaos of life. But as 1 Corinthians 13:2 says “If I have the gift of prophecy and I know all the mysteries and everything else, and if I have such complete faith that I can move mountains but I don’t have love, I’m nothing.” I must be willing to not only search out what God wants me to do but also to carry out His plans as well.

Heavenly Father, I know that You wait for us to be Your voice and action in the world. Give me Your strength as I discern Your will. Help me to remain faithful and accountable. Amen

Source

Don’t you know? Haven’t you heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He doesn’t grow tired or weary. His understanding is beyond human reach, giving power to the tired and reviving the exhausted. Youths will become tired and weary, young men will certainly stumble; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength; they will fly up on wings like eagles; they will run and not be tired; they will walk and not be weary. ~Isaiah 40:28-31 (CEB)

“One of the early Methodist preachers was “withering.” He wrote to John Wesley about it, and Wesley’s response has become a classic quote in our tradition: ‘O begin! Fix some part of every day for private exercises. You may acquire the taste which you have not: what is tedious at first will afterward be pleasant. Whether you like it or not, read and pray daily. It is for your life; there is no other way: else you will be a trifler all your days.’ Wesley’s letter to John Trembath was not a legalistic requirement; it was sound spiritual guidance. It was the way to spiritual renewal. It still is.

Some of our predecessors had a phrase for it: ‘You have to be at the spout where the glory comes out.’ They meant that if we are going to actually drink of the Water of Life, we have to be at the places where it flows. Wesley’s counsel to Trembath was ancient wisdom captured in a few words. Reading and praying daily comprise the two central acts of Christian devotion. While there are other means of grace and spiritual disciplines to make use of in our formation, these stand at the center regardless of which particular tradition you are part of.” ~From Prayer and Devotional Life of United Methodists by Steve Harper

How many times do I realize I just need to “start”. Just begin. The Bible shows us many examples where so many things had to begin with the first step. Joyce Meyer said one time to just keep doing what’s right until it does feel right.

Heavenly Father, for all the days it seems to” hard to get up and go” be my strength. For the days I don’t know which way to turn, point the way. For the times it all just seems so tedious, be my joy. Amen.

Spirituality

He replied, “You give them something to eat.”

But they said to him, “Should we go off and buy bread worth almost eight months’ pay and give it to them to eat?”

He said to them, “How much bread do you have? Take a look.”

After checking, they said, “Five loaves of bread and two fish.”

He directed the disciples to seat all the people in groups as though they were having a banquet on the green grass. They sat down in groups of hundreds and fifties. He took the five loaves and the two fish, looked up to heaven, blessed them, broke the loaves into pieces, and gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. Everyone ate until they were full. They filled twelve baskets with the leftover pieces of bread and fish. About five thousand had eaten. ~Mark 6:37-44 (CEB)

“Spirituality includes seeing our work as more than making a living (as important as that is): work becomes a genuine opportunity for service, a way of contributing to other people’s lives. Spirituality is the responsibility we show our surrounding and our environment, the respect we have for our forests, mountains, rivers, lakes, and seashores. It is especially involves our attitude toward our everyday life, the way we spend our time. Are we merely wasting or killing time, or are we attempting to discover the sacred dimensions of life all around us?

In a basic sense spirituality is about the quality of our relationships, the ways we care for each other, including the ways we welcome those who are different form us into our lives and families. All the great spiritual traditions agree that spirituality encompasses all those dimensions of our lives that make us human; that is, not only prayer and worship, but our work, play, sexuality, gifts, talents, and limitations too.

Spirituality is influenced for the Christian in a most significant way by the person and ministry of Jesus; the Sacred Scriptures, which tells his story; and the life of the ongoing community that bears his name. Through Jesus we have been given an awesomeness that our time on this earth is sacred, that we share a sacred journey, that our God has entered human history and taken on a human face. Christian spirituality includes the many ways throughout history that Christian individuals and communities have responded and continue to respond to the awareness of God’s transforming love.” ~From Mentoring by Edward C. Sellner

Through involvement with others I find blessings. God never intended for us to journey through this life alone. It is through our interactions with one another that we can glimpse God.

Heavenly Father, help me to be Your hands and feet to the world. May all I do this day be reflection of Your loves to those I meet. May I be a blessing to others. Amen.

 

Solitude

“Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves.  My yoke is easy to bear, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 (CEB)

“Solitude is the furnace of transformation. Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self. Jesus himself entered into this furnace. There he was tempted with (“turn stones into loaves”), to be spectacular (“throw yourself down”), and to be powerful (“I will give you all these kingdoms”). There he affirmed God as the only source of his identity. (“You must worship the Lord your God and serve him alone.”) Solitude is the place of the great struggle and the great encounter- the struggle against the compulsions of the false self, and the encounter with the loving God who offers himself as the substance of the new self…

…Solitude is not a private therapeutic place. Rather, it is the place where the old self dies and the new self is born, the place where the emergence of the new man and the new woman occurs.” ~From The Way of the Heart by Henri J. M. Nouwen

Solitude is not something to be fought. It is in the deserts of life that I figure out what I am made of and who I am. These are not moments to run from but to embrace. Here is where I will encounter myself. Here is where I will find God.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for encountering me in the silences of life. Strengthen me for the trials that help me to untangle who I am and who I am meant to be. Thank You for showing me that I can be more than I ever thought I could be through Your blessings on my life. Amen.

Contemplating

He gave some apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers. His purpose was to equip God’s people for the work of serving and building up the body of Christ until we all reach the unity of faith and knowledge of God’s Son. God’s goal is for us to become mature adults—to be fully grown, measured by the standard of the fullness of Christ. As a result, we aren’t supposed to be infants any longer who can be tossed and blown around by every wind that comes from teaching with deceitful scheming and the tricks people play to deliberately mislead others. Instead, by speaking the truth with love, let’s grow in every way into Christ, who is the head. The whole body grows from him, as it is joined and held together by all the supporting ligaments. The body makes itself grow in that it builds itself up with love as each one does their part. ~Ephesians 4:11-16 (CEB)

“So what am I supposed to do now? This question arises for many of us after we accept Christ’s invitation to follow him in the journey of the spiritual life. After we have read the scriptures, meditated on them, and prayed, the new day stretches out before us. What do Christians do?

Each of us has a unique combination of personality traits and gifts. When we are able to put into practice the design that God has put within us, we find high levels of energy, fulfillment, and purpose. Ideally, what we are to do as Christians is to live in loving service to God in the world, according to the way we were created. We share in the ministry of Jesus who gave himself completely to us.” ~From Companions in Christ: Participant’s Book, Part 4 by Gerrit Scott Dawson

When I get tangled up in the “try-hard” life I find my focus is on trying to get everything done. I forget that God doesn’t want me to “do it all” myself. He equips each of us with unique skills intended for certain purposes. When I discern where I am to serve and not just “do what I see that needs to be done”, I can find the energy to get the job done and I will find the fulfillment I long for and the purpose for my life.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your Word that guides and directs my steps. I thank You that I do not have to live the “try-hard” life style. I know that in You I can find the purpose and fulfillment my heart longs for. Amen.

To lift the scales from me eyes

In Damascus there was a certain disciple named Ananias. The Lord spoke to him in a vision, “Ananias!”

He answered, “Yes, Lord.”

The Lord instructed him, “Go to Judas’ house on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul. He is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias enter and put his hands on him to restore his sight.”

Ananias countered, “Lord, I have heard many reports about this man. People say he has done horrible things to your holy people in Jerusalem. He’s here with authority from the chief priests to arrest everyone who calls on your name.”

The Lord replied, “Go! This man is the agent I have chosen to carry my name before Gentiles, kings, and Israelites. I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.”

Ananias went to the house. He placed his hands on Saul and said, “Brother Saul, the Lord sent me—Jesus, who appeared to you on the way as you were coming here. He sent me so that you could see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit. ” Instantly, flakes fell from Saul’s eyes and he could see again. He got up and was baptized. After eating, he regained his strength. He stayed with the disciples in Damascus for several days. ~Acts 9:10-19 (CEB)

 

“In every great religious tradition the concept is clear: To be contemplative we must become converted to the consciousness that makes us one with the universe, in tune with the cosmic voice of God. We must become aware of the sacred in every single element of life. We must restore the human community. We must grow in concert with the God who is within. We must be healers in a harsh society. We must become all those things that are the ground of contemplation, the fruits of contemplation, the end of contemplation.

The contemplative life is about becoming more contemplative all the time. It is about being in the world differently. What needs to be changed in us? Anything that makes us the sole center of ourselves. Anything that deludes us into thinking that we are not simply a work in progress, all whose degrees, status, achievements, and power are no substitute for the wisdom that a world full of God everywhere, in everyone, has to teach us. Anything that drowns out the voice of the Ultimate within must be damped.

To become a contemplative, a daily schedule of religious events and practices is not enough. We must begin to do life, to be with people, to accept circumstances, to bring good to evil ways that speak of the presence of God in every moment.” ~From Illuminated Life by Joan Chittister

When I stay “too busy” keep myself from seeing the things that God needs me to see. For me to tune into the voice of the universe I must learn to slow down. To see Him in the everyday moments I must search the silences first. To make a change in the world, I first must begin with me.

Heavenly Father, create in me the space for You so that in this day I may see Your wonders all around me. To do Your will, I must be first tuned in to You. Sing into my heart today. Amen.

Coherency

These are the words of Jeremiah, Hilkiah’s son, who was one of the priests from Anathoth in the land of Benjamin. The LORD ’s word came to Jeremiah in the thirteenth year of Judah’s King Josiah, Amon’s son, and throughout the rule of Judah’s King Jehoiakim, Josiah’s son, until the fifth month of the eleventh year of King Zedekiah, Josiah’s son, when the people of Jerusalem were taken into exile.

The LORD ’s word came to me: “Before I created you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I set you apart; I made you a prophet to the nations.” “Ah, LORD God,” I said, “I don’t know how to speak because I’m only a child.” The LORD responded, “Don’t say, ‘I’m only a child.’ Where I send you, you must go; what I tell you, you must say. Don’t be afraid of them, because I’m with you to rescue you,” declares the LORD. Then the LORD stretched out his hand, touched my mouth, and said to me, “I’m putting my words in your mouth. This very day I appoint you over nations and empires, to dig up and pull down, to destroy and demolish, to build and plant.” ~Jeremiah 1:1-10 (CEB)

“Every morning at 6:45 I go to the small convent of the Carmelite Sisters for an hour of prayer and meditation. I say ‘every morning,’ but there are exceptions. Fatigue, busyness, and preoccupations often serve as arguments for not going. Yet without this one hour a day for God, my life loses its coherency and I start experiencing my days as a series of random incidents and accidents.

My hour in the Carmelite chapel is more important than I can fully know myself. It is not an hour of deep prayer, nor a time in which I experience a special closeness to God; it is not a period of serious attentiveness to the divine mysteries. I wish it were! On the contrary, it is full of distractions, inner restlessness, sleepiness, confusion, and boredom. It seldom, if ever, pleases my senses. But the simple fact of being for one hour in the presence of the Lord and of showing him all that I feel, think, sense, and experience, without trying to hide anything, must please him.” ~From Gracias! By Henri J.M. Nouwen

It is not so much that the time I spend with God is perfect. The point is that I make the effort to take time to be in his presence. When I make time in my schedule I place myself in a position to hear from Him and be touched by Him. Making time for Him brings a coherency to my otherwise hectic schedule.

Heavenly Father, Because of You I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You knew me before I was born. When I try to serve You, You see my heart and know my intentions despite my distractions or sleepiness. You bolster and strengthen me. You bring coherency to my living. You give me the words that I need to speak. You rescue me when a storm blows in. I thank You for Your presence in my life. Amen.

Saying yes to life

Since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all God’s people, this is the reason that I don’t stop giving thanks to God for you when I remember you in my prayers. I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, will give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation that makes God known to you. I pray that the eyes of your heart will have enough light to see what is the hope of God’s call, what is the richness of God’s glorious inheritance among believers, and what is the overwhelming greatness of God’s power that is working among us believers. This power is conferred by the energy of God’s powerful strength. God’s power was at work in Christ when God raised him from the dead and sat him at God’s right side in the heavens, far above every ruler and authority and power and angelic power, any power that might be named not only now but in the future. God put everything under Christ’s feet and made him head of everything in the church, which is his body. His body, the church, is the fullness of Christ, who fills everything in every way. ~Ephesians 1:15-23 (CEB)

“Daily personal prayer, examination of conscience, and participation in a faith-sharing group: these smaller practices can be of real benefit to us in sustaining the larger practice of saying yes to life, saying no to destruction. Together, they help us to understand, judge, and evaluate our daily choices and decisions in light of their relation to our daily choices and decisions in light of the relation to our ultimate happiness, as individuals and as humans in community. If we are to enhance and build up the capacities for a good, wholesome, and holy life, we must learn to say yes to what affirms and renews wholeness and life. And we must learn to say a related no to what induces and brings about destruction and ruin. In this practice, we are invited and challenged to make a fully conscious voice about who it is we are and who it is we shall become.” ~From “Saying Yes and Saying No” by M. Shawn Copleand in Praciting Our Faith, ed. By Dorothy C. Bass

Heavenly Father, I thank You for the faithful friends you have placed in my life that helps me to decipher Your will in my life. May I ever be willing to hear what You have to say. Amen.

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