Run over

02 May 2014 Leave a comment

by jennifermcintyreblog in Devotions Tags: ,

 

I am hunched over, completely down; I wander around all day long, sad. My insides are burning up; there’s nothing in my body that isn’t broken. I’m worn out, completely crushed; I groan because of my miserable heart. Everything I long for is laid out before you, my Lord; my sighs aren’t hidden from you. My heart pounds; my strength abandons me. Even the light of my eyes is gone. My loved ones and friends keep their distance from me in my sickness; those who were near me now stay far away. ~Psalm 38:6-11 (CEB)

Have you ever felt like you have been run over by a semi-truck and then dragged behind it for a few miles? These words from Psalms reach out to me in those times that I feel like I have been beaten up by life. You know the kind of beat up where even your friends avoid you because they just don’t know what to do or say to you.

In those times I see these words in Psalms and I say, Yes Lord! This is how I feel! Completely broken, my spirit is crushed and my heart is in pieces. But you know my heart Lord, so you know all that is within me, my sighing, and my groaning you know it all. Strength has abandoned me Lord and my eyes can’t find the light. Then as I continue to read through Psalm 38 I see in Verse 15, “But I wait for you, LORD! You will answer, my Lord, my God!” Here is assurance that God will be there for me and He will answer the cries of my heart.

It is in our troubled times that we learn to lean on God and not on ourselves. Each trouble we go through we gain more and more knowledge of God and these moments add up to build trust in Him. 2 Cor 1:10 says “God rescued us from a terrible death, and He will rescue us. We have set our hope on Him that He will rescue us again.” No matter how beat up I feel. No matter how near death I am sure my heart has come, I have knowledge from God’s word that He well be there and that I can set my hope on Him.

Mender of hearts, I put my heart in Your hands. I trust you to help me keep it whole no matter what life may throw at me. In You I know that my eyes will find the light that they seek and that I can have hope for this day. I thank You that I can trust in You. Amen

Bushes aflame

18 Apr 2014 Leave a comment

by jennifermcintyreblog in Devotions Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Therefore, don’t be afraid of those people because nothing is hidden that won’t be revealed, and nothing secret that won’t be brought out into the open. What I say to you in the darkness, tell in the light; and what you hear whispered, announce from the rooftops. Don’t be afraid of those who kill the body but can’t kill the soul. Instead, be afraid of the one who can destroy both body and soul in hell. Aren’t two sparrows sold for a small coin? But not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father knowing about it already. Even the hairs of your head are all counted. Don’t be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows. ~Matt 10:26-31 (CEB)

“Two years ago I faced the crisis of cancer. The dreaded disease, which had already taken the life of two close friends and relatives and invaded two others, now attacked me. In stark moments of confrontation with the truth, we can never predict our own response. At first I fell into a black hole, defeated. Then I swam in a sea of surrounding realities: my connectedness to others, my faith in the immensity of life, a strength whose source I simply accepted. In time my feelings roamed the spectrum of fear and despair. My body endangered by mortal enemy. My life thrown into turmoil and my future made uncertain. My total helplessness in the face of a silent, aggressive foe.

My recovery was quick, my prognosis good, my basic attitude healthy. I was immersed in understanding and love. My pain was borne by others and in that sharing there was comfort and hope. Before long I was engaged in all my normal activities. But ‘normal’ has become a meaningless word. Health has become a relative experience. Time is etched with urgency. Life, which I too am prone to take for granted, has assumed a precious value. People and the time spent with them are treasures, not to be calculated, and not to be abused.” ~From Every Bush is Burning by Joan Puls

Almighty God, through the power of your Holy Spirit you enable us to do and be more than we can think or imagine. I thank You for community through which You have shown me Your love in my helpless moments. Come now, dwell within me, and make me strong to do Your work and will. Through Christ my Lord. Amen.

The greates gift

17 Apr 2014 Leave a comment

by jennifermcintyreblog in Devotions Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

 

After these events, the LORD’s word came to Abram in a vision, “Don’t be afraid, Abram. I am your protector.Your reward will be very great.”

But Abram said, “LORD God, what can you possibly give me, since I still have no children? The head of my household is Eliezer, a man from Damascus.” He continued, “Since you haven’t given me any children, the head of my household will be my heir.”

The LORD’s word came immediately to him, “This man will not be your heir. Your heir will definitely be your very own biological child.” Then he brought Abram outside and said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars if you think you can count them. He continued, “This is how many children you will have.” Abram trusted the LORD, and the LORD recognized Abram’s high moral character. ~Gen. 15:1-6 (CEB)

“The greatest gift I have ever received from Jesus Christ has been the Abba experience. ‘No one knows the Son except the Father, just as no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him’ (Matt. 11:27). My dignity as Abba’s child is my most coherent sense of self. When I seek to fashion a self-image from the adulation of others and the inner voice whisperers, ‘You’ve arrived; you’re a player in the Kingdom enterprise,’ there is no truth in that self-concept. When I sink into despondency and the inner voice whispers, ‘You are no good, a fraud, a hypocrite and a dilettante,’ there is no truth in any image shaped from that message. ~From Abba’s Child by Brennan Manning

Lord God, in whom I find life, health, and strength, through whose gifts I am clothes and fed, through whose mercy I have been forgiven and cleansed, be for me guide, strength, Savior, and Lord all the days of my life. I offer my prayers through Christ. Amen.

One long night

21 Dec 2013 Leave a comment

by jennifermcintyreblog in Devotions Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Nearby shepherds were living in the fields, guarding their sheep at night. The Lord’s angel stood before them, the Lord’s glory shone around them, and they were terrified. The angel said, “Don’t be afraid! Look! I bring good news to you—wonderful, joyous news for all people. Your savior is born today in David’s city. He is Christ the Lord. This is a sign for you: you will find a newborn baby wrapped snugly and lying in a manger. ” Suddenly a great assembly of the heavenly forces was with the angel praising God. They said, “Glory to God in heaven, and on earth peace among those whom he favors.”

When the angels returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go right now to Bethlehem and see what’s happened. Let’s confirm what the Lord has revealed to us. ” They went quickly and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. When they saw this, they reported what they had been told about this child. Everyone who heard it was amazed at what the shepherds told them. Mary committed these things to memory and considered them carefully. The shepherds returned home, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen. Everything happened just as they had been told. ~Luke 2:8-20 (CEB)

Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy. Isn’t it? TV shows and commercials illustrate Christmas time as the … “most wonderful time of the year…” So if Christmas makes you blue… (now I have Evis singing in my head) or even flat out depressed it can be isolating in the sea of celebrations. It can leave some people gloomy finding the holidays anything but jolly, while still others will have experiences that make it difficult to be merry and bright.

When I think of the Advent story it seems to me to start out in the dark and cold, even in the midst of hopelessness. But it is also part of a bigger story of God’s grace waiting our discovery. It is a story of hope.

Sometimes the hype and clichés of the season distract us. The clever marketing ploys succeed in making us desire tangible things we can hold in our hands. Marketing gives us false illusions of how we can find happiness. However all the marketing efforts, hype and catchy logos cannot answer the deep questions of the heart, or address the pain that might reside there, explain the mystery of God’s presence, or even comprehend the meaning of our existence. It also does not help us to understand why bad things happen.

Advent can give us hope though in the midst of our isolation and false illusions because it tells us a story of how God humbled himself, intimately and personally through the birth of Jesus. Sometimes we blow off Advent as just another blip on the church calendar but it is meant to be something more. It is meant to lay a new path of faith for the new year ahead.

In the remembering and retelling of the magical story we are reminded that God loved us so much he allowed Jesus to come down here in the form of a fragile infant to be born in the lowliest of places. The retelling of the story is to remind me why Jesus came into the world in the first place, so that I might have life and live in the light.  I am reminded with the Advent story that God is a hands-on God willing to become vulnerable just so that I might catch a glimpse of how much He loves me. This story tells me that Jesus loved me so much that he came down to earth to be in the darkness with me and to walk with me as I search for the light.

Advent is meant to confront me once again with God’s unparalleled effort to communicate the message that I am embraced and held by a God of love. The Advent season is the time that I can shake off the failures, the victories and the sorrows of the past. I am given a new clean page. Again and again we see in the Bible that God is a God of second chances and the healer of broken hearts. Jesus Christ has come, is present with us, and will come again in final victory when all darkness, pain and evil will be no more.

Heavenly Father, it gives me great comfort to know that You are big enough to handle all my sorrow, all my questions and all my fear. I am thankful that You are a God who is willing to come down to earth and be with me where I am, even if the place You find me is darkness. Even in the darkness I am not hidden from You. I may be worried that I will put others off during this “happy season” with the questions and fears that are hidden in my heart, but I know that You will never turn from my sorrow. You will never brush off my questions. You will never be upset with me if I have the “wrong feelings” for the season. You simply tell me that feelings just are.  Dear Lord, I thank You for sitting with me here right now, waiting with me through this long night, reminding me that there is always a dawn. Amen.

The sacrafice of a broken heart

06 Nov 2013 Leave a comment

by jennifermcintyreblog in Devotions Tags: , , , , , , ,

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. ~Psalm 57:17 (ESV)

“Faith is not belief in an afterlife based on today’s moral litmus test. To the contemplative ‘bad’ and ‘good’ makes no matter. Each has the capacity to become the other. Out of bad much good has come. It is often sin that unmasks us to ourselves and opens the way for growth. Mature virtue is tried virtue, not virtue unassailed. Great good, on the other hand, whatever its effect, has so often deteriorated into arrogance, into a righteousness that vitiates its own rightness. But both of the, both bad and good, lived in the light of God, blanch, are reduced to size in the face of the Life that transcends them.” ~From Illuminated Life by Joan Chittister

Heavenly Father, I stand amazed at how You can take my brokenness and turn it into beauty. I thank You for allowing me to see myself through the light of Your eyes. Thank you for putting my world into perspective. Amen.

From doubt to belief

03 Nov 2013 Leave a comment

by jennifermcintyreblog in Devotions Tags: , , , , , ,

Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.”

Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” ~John 20:21-18 (CEB)

“We move away from doubt at our own pace and with our own set of doubts and beliefs to master. While our first step is a matter of belief and ultimate trust in God, there are many other and some even more difficult steps to take in out movement from doubt to belief.

One step along this journey that causes many people to stop and struggle is the step of actually believing God loves them and that they can be lovable in God’s sight. This more than any other step along the journey makes men and women, young and old, stumble and fall from faith to doubt. Why is it so hard for us to believe that God’s love really is unconditional and that we should imitate God’s love not only for others but also for ourselves?

Perhaps we have regarded self-centered behavior too harshly. We are unwilling or unable to give ourselves the same gentle grace that God offers us and that doubt to belief and remember that God loves you, in God and in God’s creation. ~Rueben P. Job, A Guide to Prayer for All Who Seek God

Almighty God, send your transforming power into my life as I seek to serve you this day. Grant unto me wisdom, courage, grace, and strength to faithfully fulfill ministry to which you have called me. In the name of Christ. Amen.

Dark night

15 Oct 2013 Leave a comment

by jennifermcintyreblog in Devotions Tags: , , , , , , ,

My God! My God,

why have you left me all alone?

Why are you so far from saving me—

so far from my anguished groans?

My God, I cry out during the day,

but you don’t answer;

even at nighttime I don’t stop.

~Psalm 22:1-2 (CEB)

“We may say that there are three reasons for which this journey mad by the soul to union with God is called night. The first has to do with the point from which the soul goes forth, for it has gradually to deprive itself of desire for all the worldly tings which it possessed by denying them to itself; the which denial and deprivation are, as it were, night to all the senses of man. The second reason has to do with the mean, or the road along which the soul must travel to this union- that is, faith, which is likewise as dark as night to understanding. The third has to do with the point to which it travels- namely, God, Who, equally, is dark night to the soul in this life. These three nights must pass through the soul- or, rather, the soul must pass through them- in order that it may come to Divine union with God.” ~From Ascent of Mount Carmel by Saint John of the Cross

Heavenly Father, when I find myself adrift and alone, guide me back into Your light. May all my travels find me closer to Divine union with You. Amen.

The night shift

11 Oct 2013 Leave a comment

by jennifermcintyreblog in Devotions Tags: , , , , , , ,

You are the one who lights my lamp—

the LORD my God illumines my darkness. ~Psalm 18:28 (CEB)

“There is always a night shift and sooner or later we are put on it. The praise does not cease with the fading of the light, but goes on through the spiritual night as well as the spiritual day. And if you are picked for the night shift- well, praise the Lord. Lift up your hands in the dark sanctuary of your soul when you are tempted to wonder what is the good of it all, and praise the Lord! And the Lord, maker of heaven and earth, will bless you from Zion.” ~From The Fruits of the Spirit by Evelyn Underhill

May our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and in his grace gave us unfailing courage and a firm hope, encourage you and strengthen you to always do and say what is good. Amen. –Thess. 2:16-17 (TEV)

The comfort of tears

09 Oct 2013 Leave a comment

by jennifermcintyreblog in Devotions Tags: , , , , , ,

When Jesus saw her crying and the Jews who had come with her crying also, he was deeply disturbed and troubled. He asked, “Where have you laid him?”

They replied, “Lord, come and see.”

Jesus began to cry. ~John 11:33-35 (CEB)

 

“We took him too much for granted. Perhaps we all take each other too much for granted. The routines of life distract us; our own pursuits make us oblivious; our anxieties and sorrows, unmindful. The beauties of the familiar go unremarked. We do not treasure each other enough.

[Eric] was a gift to us for twenty-five years. When the gift was finally snatched away, I realized how great it was. Then I could not tell him. An outpouring of letters arrived, many expressing appreciation for Eric. They all made me weep again: each word of praise a stab of loss.

How can I be thankful, in his gone-ness for what he was? I find I am. But the pain of the no more outweighs the gratitude of the once was. Will it always be so?

I didn’t know how much I loved him until he was gone.

Is love like that?” ~from Lament for a Son by Nicolas Wolterstorff

There are times O Lord that the most comfort You can give me is to know that You weep when I am sad. Thank You.

The knowledge of joy

30 Sep 2013 Leave a comment

by jennifermcintyreblog in Devotions Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

In the beginning was the Word

and the Word was with God

and the Word was God.

The Word was with God in the beginning.

Everything came into being through the Word,

and without the Word

nothing came into being.

What came into being

through the Word was life,

and the life was the light for all people.

The light shines in the darkness,

and the darkness doesn’t extinguish the light. ~John 5:1-5 (CEB)

“Joy does not come from positive predictions about the state of the world. It does not depend on the ups and downs of the circumstances of our lives. Joy is based on the spiritual knowledge that, while the world in which we live is shrouded in darkness, God has overcome the world. Jesus says it loudly and clearly: ‘In the world you will have troubles, but rejoice, I have overcome the world.’

The surprise is not that, unexpectedly, things turn out better than expected. No, the real surprise is that God’s light is more real than all the darkness, that God’s truth is more powerful than all human lies, that God’s love is stronger than death.” ~From Here and Now by Henri J. M. Nouwen

Thank You Heavenly Father for shinning into my darkness. Thank You for overcoming the world with Your light of Truth. May I walk through this day with the confidence of a beloved child of God. Amen.

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