The one who touched my heart

12 Feb 2013 Leave a comment

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He said: I love you, LORD, my strength. The LORD is my solid rock, my fortress, my rescuer. My God is my rock— I take refuge in him!— he’s my shield, my salvation’s strength, my place of safety. Because he is praiseworthy,I cried out to the LORD, and I was saved from my enemies. Death’s cords were wrapped around me; rivers of wickedness terrified me. The cords of the grave surrounded me; death’s traps held me tight. In my distress I cried out to the LORD; I called to my God for help. God heard my voice from his temple; I called to him for help, and my call reached his ears. ~Psalm 18:1-6

“Becoming the Beloved is the great spiritual journey we have to make. Augustine’s words: ‘My soul is restless until it rests in you, O God,’ capture well this journey. I know that the fact that I am always searching for God, always struggling to discover the fullness of Love, always yearning for the complete truth, tells me that I have already been given a taste of God, of Love and Truth. I can only look for something that I have, to some degree, already found. How can I search for beauty and truth unless that beauty and truth are already known to me in the depth of my heart? It seems that all of us human beings have deep inner memories of the paradise that we have lost. Maybe the word ‘innocence’ is better than the word ‘paradise.’ We were innocent before we started feeling guilty; we were in the light before we entered into the darkness; we were at home before we started to search for a home. Deep in the recesses of our minds and hearts there lies hidden the treasure we seek. We know its preciousness, and we know that it holds the gift we most desire: a life stronger than death.” ~From Life of the Beloved by Henri J.M. Nouwen

I always believed that God touched me in my mother’s womb. Maybe He does us all. That would explain this longing we have deep inside us for something more, something that will complete us.  It is a comfort to know that I was made to long and search for a home that is mine. Maybe that is why I never felt that I was in a place where I completely belonged. I am meant to feel that I am only passing through. I am not meant to feel complete until I have found the One Who touched my heart. I am not meant to feel at home until I am home with Jesus.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for the Fullness of Your love. I thank You for touching my heart and calling to me from my mother’s womb. I thank you for calling to me, asking me just to seek… to seek the treasures that I would find if only I would start on that journey. I thank You for sending Your Son to show me the Way. Amen.  

Beloved

11 Feb 2013 Leave a comment

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Look at your situation when you were called, brothers and sisters! By ordinary human standards not many were wise, not many were powerful, not many were from the upper class.  But God chose what the world considers foolish to shame the wise. God chose what the world considers weak to shame the strong.  And God chose what the world considers low-class and low-life—what is considered to be nothing—to reduce what is considered to be something to nothing. So no human being can brag in God’s presence. It is because of God that you are in Christ Jesus. He became wisdom from God for us. This means that he made us righteous and holy, and he delivered us. ~1 Corinthians 1:26-30 (CEB)

“Don’t you often hope: ‘May this book, idea, course, trip, job, country or relationship fulfill my deepest desire.’ But as long as you are waiting for that mysterious moment you will go running helter-skelter, always anxious and restless, always lustful and angry, never fully satisfied. You know that this is the compulsiveness that keeps us going and busy, but at the same time makes us wonder whether we are getting anywhere in the long run.  This is the way to spiritual exhaustion and burn-out. This is the way to spiritual death.

Well, you and I don’t have to kill ourselves. We are the Beloved. We are intimately loved long before our parents, teachers, spouses, children and friends love or wounded us. That’s the truth of our lives. That’s the truth I want you to claim for yourself. That’s the truth spoken by the voice that says, ‘You are my Beloved.’

Listening to that voice with great inner attentiveness, I hear at my center words that say: ‘I have called you by name, from the very beginning. You are mine and I am yours. You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests. I have molded you in the depths of the earth and knitted you together in your mother’s womb. I have carved you in the palms of my hands and hidden you in the shadow of my embrace. I look at you with infinite tenderness and care for you with a care more intimate that that of a mother for her child. I have counted every hair on your head and guided you at every step. Wherever you go, I go with you, and wherever you rest, I keep watch. I will give you food that will satisfy all your hunger and drink that will quench all your thirst. I will not hide my face from you. You know me as your own as I know you as my own. You belong to me. I am your father, your mother, your brother, your sister, your lover and your spouse … yes, even your child … wherever you are I will be. Nothing will ever separate us. We are one.’” ~From Life of the Beloved by Henri J. M. Nouwen

To be called by the Creator by name. The fact that He knew me before my mother knew me. Awesome. God knew who I would be and before I even set out in this world He loved me. Simply, I was loved before I was born.

Heavenly Father, You are mine and I am Yours. I am Your Beloved. Before I ever messed up or went astray You loved me knowing the steps I would follow and the depths that I would ascend. You reached down into that darkness, even sent Your son to guide me … all because You love me. Me, even though I am tarnished and broken You still sought me. I thank You that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Amen.

From the ends of the earth

09 Feb 2013 Leave a comment

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You whom I took from the ends of the earth and called from its farthest corners, saying to you, “You are my servant; I chose you and didn’t reject you”: Don’t fear, because I am with you; don’t be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will surely help you; I will hold you with my righteous strong hand. ~Isaiah 41:9-10 (CEB)

“There is a great difference between successfulness and fruitfulness. Success comes from strength, control, and respectability. A successful person has the energy to create something, to keep control over its development, and to make it available in large quantities. Success brings many rewards and often fame. Fruits, however, come from weakness and vulnerability. And fruits are unique. A child is the fruit conceived in vulnerability, community is the fruit born through shared brokenness, and intimacy is the fruit that grows through touching one another’s wounds. Let’s remind one another that what brings us true joy is not successfulness but fruitfulness.” ~From Bread for the Journey by Henri J. M. Nouwen

Lord, in my weakness and vulnerability I find you. Please take my trials and help me bear fruit. I thank you for communities that You have provided through which I can feel Your love for me. Guide my steps, make the ground firm beneath my feet for my hope is in You. Amen.

Through the valley

08 Feb 2013 Leave a comment

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You will be secure, for there is hope; you will look around and rest safely. You will lie down without anyone to scare you; many will beg for your favor. ~Job 11:18-19 (CEB)

Solitude is the garden for our hearts, which yearn for love. It is the place where our aloneness can bear fruit. It is the home for our restless bodies and anxious minds. Solitude, whether it is connected with a physical space or not, is essential for our spiritual lives. It is not an easy place to be, since we are so insecure and fearful that we are easily distracted by whatever promises immediate satisfaction. Solitude is not immediately satisfying, because in solitude we meet our demons, our addictions, our feelings of lust and anger, and our immense need for recognition and approval. But if we do not run away, we will meet there also the One who says, “Do not be afraid. I am with you, and I will guide you through the valley of darkness.” ~ From Bread for the Journey by Henri J. M. Nouwen

O Heavenly Father, I know that You hear me out of the depths of my solitude. Help me stand my ground so that I meet my demons head on. Hold my hand as I walk through this valley. Steady my steps so that I won’t stumble and fall. I know You are my God and I am Your beloved child. Amen.

Source

06 Feb 2013 Leave a comment

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Don’t you know? Haven’t you heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He doesn’t grow tired or weary. His understanding is beyond human reach, giving power to the tired and reviving the exhausted. Youths will become tired and weary, young men will certainly stumble; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength; they will fly up on wings like eagles; they will run and not be tired; they will walk and not be weary. ~Isaiah 40:28-31 (CEB)

“One of the early Methodist preachers was “withering.” He wrote to John Wesley about it, and Wesley’s response has become a classic quote in our tradition: ‘O begin! Fix some part of every day for private exercises. You may acquire the taste which you have not: what is tedious at first will afterward be pleasant. Whether you like it or not, read and pray daily. It is for your life; there is no other way: else you will be a trifler all your days.’ Wesley’s letter to John Trembath was not a legalistic requirement; it was sound spiritual guidance. It was the way to spiritual renewal. It still is.

Some of our predecessors had a phrase for it: ‘You have to be at the spout where the glory comes out.’ They meant that if we are going to actually drink of the Water of Life, we have to be at the places where it flows. Wesley’s counsel to Trembath was ancient wisdom captured in a few words. Reading and praying daily comprise the two central acts of Christian devotion. While there are other means of grace and spiritual disciplines to make use of in our formation, these stand at the center regardless of which particular tradition you are part of.” ~From Prayer and Devotional Life of United Methodists by Steve Harper

How many times do I realize I just need to “start”. Just begin. The Bible shows us many examples where so many things had to begin with the first step. Joyce Meyer said one time to just keep doing what’s right until it does feel right.

Heavenly Father, for all the days it seems to” hard to get up and go” be my strength. For the days I don’t know which way to turn, point the way. For the times it all just seems so tedious, be my joy. Amen.

Spirituality

05 Feb 2013 Leave a comment

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He replied, “You give them something to eat.”

But they said to him, “Should we go off and buy bread worth almost eight months’ pay and give it to them to eat?”

He said to them, “How much bread do you have? Take a look.”

After checking, they said, “Five loaves of bread and two fish.”

He directed the disciples to seat all the people in groups as though they were having a banquet on the green grass. They sat down in groups of hundreds and fifties. He took the five loaves and the two fish, looked up to heaven, blessed them, broke the loaves into pieces, and gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. Everyone ate until they were full. They filled twelve baskets with the leftover pieces of bread and fish. About five thousand had eaten. ~Mark 6:37-44 (CEB)

“Spirituality includes seeing our work as more than making a living (as important as that is): work becomes a genuine opportunity for service, a way of contributing to other people’s lives. Spirituality is the responsibility we show our surrounding and our environment, the respect we have for our forests, mountains, rivers, lakes, and seashores. It is especially involves our attitude toward our everyday life, the way we spend our time. Are we merely wasting or killing time, or are we attempting to discover the sacred dimensions of life all around us?

In a basic sense spirituality is about the quality of our relationships, the ways we care for each other, including the ways we welcome those who are different form us into our lives and families. All the great spiritual traditions agree that spirituality encompasses all those dimensions of our lives that make us human; that is, not only prayer and worship, but our work, play, sexuality, gifts, talents, and limitations too.

Spirituality is influenced for the Christian in a most significant way by the person and ministry of Jesus; the Sacred Scriptures, which tells his story; and the life of the ongoing community that bears his name. Through Jesus we have been given an awesomeness that our time on this earth is sacred, that we share a sacred journey, that our God has entered human history and taken on a human face. Christian spirituality includes the many ways throughout history that Christian individuals and communities have responded and continue to respond to the awareness of God’s transforming love.” ~From Mentoring by Edward C. Sellner

Through involvement with others I find blessings. God never intended for us to journey through this life alone. It is through our interactions with one another that we can glimpse God.

Heavenly Father, help me to be Your hands and feet to the world. May all I do this day be reflection of Your loves to those I meet. May I be a blessing to others. Amen.

 

Solitude

04 Feb 2013 Leave a comment

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“Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves.  My yoke is easy to bear, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 (CEB)

“Solitude is the furnace of transformation. Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self. Jesus himself entered into this furnace. There he was tempted with (“turn stones into loaves”), to be spectacular (“throw yourself down”), and to be powerful (“I will give you all these kingdoms”). There he affirmed God as the only source of his identity. (“You must worship the Lord your God and serve him alone.”) Solitude is the place of the great struggle and the great encounter- the struggle against the compulsions of the false self, and the encounter with the loving God who offers himself as the substance of the new self…

…Solitude is not a private therapeutic place. Rather, it is the place where the old self dies and the new self is born, the place where the emergence of the new man and the new woman occurs.” ~From The Way of the Heart by Henri J. M. Nouwen

Solitude is not something to be fought. It is in the deserts of life that I figure out what I am made of and who I am. These are not moments to run from but to embrace. Here is where I will encounter myself. Here is where I will find God.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for encountering me in the silences of life. Strengthen me for the trials that help me to untangle who I am and who I am meant to be. Thank You for showing me that I can be more than I ever thought I could be through Your blessings on my life. Amen.

The roots of my heart

02 Feb 2013 Leave a comment

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Create a clean heart for me, God: put a new, faithful spirit deep inside me! ~Psalm 51:10 (CEB)

“Even though we may not fully understand where this response will take us and even though some of us will resist, still God waits for our yes. . .

When Mary said yes, she could not have known about the silent night of birth in a stable or the angelic hosts singing and praising God. Would she have known about the visit to the Temple with twelve-year-old Jesus? Could she have foreseen that her son would willing place himself in harm’s way for the sake of others? Would she have said yes if she had known about the betrayal of her son that would lead to his public scourging or his trip to Calvary and crucifixion? Mary only knew for certain that if she said yes to God, everything would change. And so it will be with our yes.

An old age may end and a new age begin with the yes we speak. In the places where we give birth to our holy imaginations, God may take root in our heart. Impregnated by God’s Holy Word, the wombs of radical hope may yet blossom and bless our efforts to build a world of justice and peace. Each time we say yes, the Holy Spirit overshadows us and something new comes to birth in us.

As Christians, our roots are intertwined with the female ancestors of Jesus and planted deep in the soil of his family tree, Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary courageously disturbed the air around them. Heirs to their faithfulness, we are called to do the same when we answer yes. Perhaps not yet fully comprehending what our yes may mean, but in faith that surpasses our knowledge and trusting God with our very lives, may we boldly say with Mary: ‘Here I am, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.’ So be it. Amen.” ~From Mother Roots by Helen Bruch Pearson

Lord, I do not know what my “yes” will bring. I don’t know where it take me, but I do know I rather travel to the unknown with you than to remain in safety alone. Bolster me to do Your will in all I say and do this day. Amen.

Contemplating

01 Feb 2013 Leave a comment

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He gave some apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers. His purpose was to equip God’s people for the work of serving and building up the body of Christ until we all reach the unity of faith and knowledge of God’s Son. God’s goal is for us to become mature adults—to be fully grown, measured by the standard of the fullness of Christ. As a result, we aren’t supposed to be infants any longer who can be tossed and blown around by every wind that comes from teaching with deceitful scheming and the tricks people play to deliberately mislead others. Instead, by speaking the truth with love, let’s grow in every way into Christ, who is the head. The whole body grows from him, as it is joined and held together by all the supporting ligaments. The body makes itself grow in that it builds itself up with love as each one does their part. ~Ephesians 4:11-16 (CEB)

“So what am I supposed to do now? This question arises for many of us after we accept Christ’s invitation to follow him in the journey of the spiritual life. After we have read the scriptures, meditated on them, and prayed, the new day stretches out before us. What do Christians do?

Each of us has a unique combination of personality traits and gifts. When we are able to put into practice the design that God has put within us, we find high levels of energy, fulfillment, and purpose. Ideally, what we are to do as Christians is to live in loving service to God in the world, according to the way we were created. We share in the ministry of Jesus who gave himself completely to us.” ~From Companions in Christ: Participant’s Book, Part 4 by Gerrit Scott Dawson

When I get tangled up in the “try-hard” life I find my focus is on trying to get everything done. I forget that God doesn’t want me to “do it all” myself. He equips each of us with unique skills intended for certain purposes. When I discern where I am to serve and not just “do what I see that needs to be done”, I can find the energy to get the job done and I will find the fulfillment I long for and the purpose for my life.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your Word that guides and directs my steps. I thank You that I do not have to live the “try-hard” life style. I know that in You I can find the purpose and fulfillment my heart longs for. Amen.

Coherency

28 Jan 2013 Leave a comment

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These are the words of Jeremiah, Hilkiah’s son, who was one of the priests from Anathoth in the land of Benjamin. The LORD ’s word came to Jeremiah in the thirteenth year of Judah’s King Josiah, Amon’s son, and throughout the rule of Judah’s King Jehoiakim, Josiah’s son, until the fifth month of the eleventh year of King Zedekiah, Josiah’s son, when the people of Jerusalem were taken into exile.

The LORD ’s word came to me: “Before I created you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I set you apart; I made you a prophet to the nations.” “Ah, LORD God,” I said, “I don’t know how to speak because I’m only a child.” The LORD responded, “Don’t say, ‘I’m only a child.’ Where I send you, you must go; what I tell you, you must say. Don’t be afraid of them, because I’m with you to rescue you,” declares the LORD. Then the LORD stretched out his hand, touched my mouth, and said to me, “I’m putting my words in your mouth. This very day I appoint you over nations and empires, to dig up and pull down, to destroy and demolish, to build and plant.” ~Jeremiah 1:1-10 (CEB)

“Every morning at 6:45 I go to the small convent of the Carmelite Sisters for an hour of prayer and meditation. I say ‘every morning,’ but there are exceptions. Fatigue, busyness, and preoccupations often serve as arguments for not going. Yet without this one hour a day for God, my life loses its coherency and I start experiencing my days as a series of random incidents and accidents.

My hour in the Carmelite chapel is more important than I can fully know myself. It is not an hour of deep prayer, nor a time in which I experience a special closeness to God; it is not a period of serious attentiveness to the divine mysteries. I wish it were! On the contrary, it is full of distractions, inner restlessness, sleepiness, confusion, and boredom. It seldom, if ever, pleases my senses. But the simple fact of being for one hour in the presence of the Lord and of showing him all that I feel, think, sense, and experience, without trying to hide anything, must please him.” ~From Gracias! By Henri J.M. Nouwen

It is not so much that the time I spend with God is perfect. The point is that I make the effort to take time to be in his presence. When I make time in my schedule I place myself in a position to hear from Him and be touched by Him. Making time for Him brings a coherency to my otherwise hectic schedule.

Heavenly Father, Because of You I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You knew me before I was born. When I try to serve You, You see my heart and know my intentions despite my distractions or sleepiness. You bolster and strengthen me. You bring coherency to my living. You give me the words that I need to speak. You rescue me when a storm blows in. I thank You for Your presence in my life. Amen.

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