Pieces of the Puzzle

If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part gets the glory, all the parts celebrate with it. You are the body of Christ and parts of each other. ~1 Cor 12:26-27 (CEB)

I was once by my perception, hurt deeply by “the church” or rather by the people in the church. I was confused. I couldn’t understand how “Christian people” could act in such a way as they did. I was holding them up to my standard of perfection and not seeing them through God’s eyes… wounded and broken like me.

“When we have been wounded by the Church, our temptation is to reject it.   But when we reject the Church it becomes very hard for us to keep in touch with the living Christ.  When we say, ‘I love Jesus, but I hate the Church,’ we end up losing not only the Church but Jesus too.  The challenge is to forgive the Church.  This challenge is especially great because the Church seldom asks us for forgiveness, at least not officially.  But the Church as an often fallible human organization needs our forgiveness, while the Church as the living Christ among us continues to offer us forgiveness.

It is important to think about the Church not as ‘over there’ but as a community of struggling, weak people of whom we are part and in whom we meet our Lord and Redeemer.” ~From Bread for the Journey, by Henri Nouwen

Although I never officially left a church over my wounds I know I was guilty of losing Jesus while I held onto my hurt and anger. Even though I continued to grace the steps of the church that hurt me I was blinded by pain, thus unable to see Jesus and His Grace for me. As always, unforgiveness only injures me. In time I was able to see that we are all human and none of us perfect. Now I see that time period as a necessary part of my journey. Many life lessons were learned as I regained my sight of Jesus through that time of trial. Most important of all was the reminder that Jesus forgives me every day and I need to extend that same grace to others.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for the grace you give me every day. Help me to see others as needing your grace too. May I not let my past hurts blind me so deeply as to not feel Your love this day. Amen.

Now children, listen to me: Happy are those who keep to my ways! Listen to instruction, and be wise; don’t avoid it. Happy are those who listen to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorposts. Those who find me find life; they gain favor from the LORD. Those who offend me injure themselves; all those who hate me love death. ~Prov 8:32-36 (CEB)

“Faith is not belief in an afterlife based on today’s moral litmus test. To the contemplative “bad” and “good” make no matter. Each has capacity to become the other. Out of bad much good has come. It is often sin that unmasks us to ourselves and opens the way for growth. Mature virtue is tried virtue, not virtue unassailed. Great good, on the other hand, whatever its effects, has so often deteriorated into arrogance, into a righteousness that vitiates its own rightness. But both of them, both bad and good, lived in the light of God, blanch, are reduced to size in the face of the Life that transcends them.” ~From Illuminated Life by Joan Chittister

This selection from Illuminated Life reminds me not to be judgmental of others. It also reminds me to not be so harsh about my failures… or too prideful of my success.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for using my failures for Your glory. Help me to never think so highly of myself that I forget Who enables me to do good. Amen.

I know that good doesn’t live in me—that is, in my body. The desire to do good is inside of me, but I can’t do it. I don’t do the good that I want to do, but I do the evil that I don’t want to do. But if I do the very thing that I don’t want to do, then I’m not the one doing it anymore. Instead, it is sin that lives in me that is doing it. So I find that, as a rule, when I want to do what is good, evil is right there with me.  I gladly agree with the Law on the inside, but I see a different law at work in my body. It wages a war against the law of my mind and takes me prisoner with the law of sin that is in my body.  I’m a miserable human being. Who will deliver me from this dead corpse?  Thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then I’m a slave to God’s Law in my mind, but I’m a slave to sin’s law in my body. ~Romans 7:18-25 (CEB)

“Life is not a game we win, and God is not a trophy we merit. No matter how “good” we are, we are not good enough for God. On the other hand, no matter how “bad” we are, we can never be outside of God. We can only hope in each instance to come to such a consciousness of God that no lesser gods can capture out attention and not trifling, self-centered gods can keep us from the fullness of awareness that is the fullness of Life. It is the project of life, this coming to Wholeness, this experience of Purpose beyond all purposes, this identification with everything that is.” ~From Illuminated Life by Joan Chittister

Heavenly Father, help me with the ever present war that wages inside. Help me to come to a Wholeness and to experience a Purpose beyond all purposes. Help me to not be self-centered this day forgetting that it is You from which my strength comes from. Amen.

I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise will always be in my mouth. I praise the LORD— let the suffering listen and rejoice. Magnify the LORD with me! Together let us lift his name up high! I sought the LORD and he answered me. He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to God will shine; their faces are never ashamed. This suffering person cried out: the LORD listened and saved him from every trouble. On every side, the LORD’s messenger protects those who honor God; and he delivers them. Taste and see how good the LORD is! The one who takes refuge in him is truly happy! You who are the LORD’s ~Psalm 34:1-8 (CEB)

“You called, shouted, broke through my deafness; you flared, blazed, banished my blindness; you lavished your fragrance, I gasped, and now I pant for you; I tasted you, and I hunger and thirst; you touched me, and I burned for your peace.” ~From The Confessions by Saint Augustine

Once I began to listen to God calling to me, the more I wanted to hear. A simple taste of God’s word was not enough; it left me hungering for more. To the one who delivers me from all my fears I want even more today. I am never satisfied. As long as I seek refuge in Him I find true and complete happiness.

Heaveny Father, I thank You this day for calling out to me, for searching the dark depths for my lost soul. I thank you for finding me while I was lost, caught up in trying hard to live right. I thank You for the peace that awaits when I rest in Your arms. May I never stray so far to feel darkness’ bleak fear, help me stay in the light of Your love. Amen.

There is still a vision for the appointed time; it testifies to the end; it does not deceive. If it delays, wait for it; for it is surely coming; it will not be late. Some people’s desires are truly audacious; they don’t do the right thing. But the righteous person will live honestly. ~Habukkuk 2:3-4 (CEB)

Because I find it so hard to live in the “not yet” portion of life, whenever I find in the Bible words that address what I am feeling I find comfort. Reading Habakkuk gives me words to address that living in the “not yet”… in the “meanwhile” times of faith and trust.

Like Habakkuk, I must learn to be patient. There is still a vision for the appointed time. God is at work. He has a plan. He is working out God’s purpose. In patience and faith, I can learn to find peace. God is working out the vision. In the interim, I am to live out the instructions given to me: “the righteous live [now and forever] by their faith. (2:4)

God’s timing is true.

Heavenly Father, Help me live in the here and the now by faith. Though I may not see where I am going, may I head out with the confidence of Abraham believing in the promises you give to me. Amen.

“Happy are people who are hungry and thirsty for righteousness, because they will be fed until they are full. ~Matthew 5:6 (CEB)

“For a spiritual life is simply a life in which all that we do comes from the center, where we are anchored in God: a life soaked through and through by a sense of his reality and claim, and self-given to the great movement of his will.

Most of our conflicts and difficulties come from trying to deal with the spiritual and practical aspects of our life separately instead of realizing them as parts of one whole. If  our practical life is centered on our own interests, cluttered up by possessions, distracted by ambitions, passions wants and worries, beset by a sense of our own rights and importance, or anxieties for our own future, or longings for our own success, we need not expect that our spiritual life will be a contrast to all this. The soul’s house is not built on such a convenient plan: there are few soundproof partitions in it.” ~From The Spiritual Life by Evelyn Underhill

Center me this day Lord, not on self-importance or self-ambitions but on You. Amen.

Happy are people who are humble, because they will inherit the earth. ~Matthew 5:5 (CEB)

“Our spiritual life is his affair; because, whatever we may think to the contrary, it is really produced by his steady attraction, and our humble and self-forgetful response to it. It consists in being drawn, at his pace and in his way, to the place where he wants us to be; not the place we fancied for ourselves.” ~From The Spiritual Life by Evelyn Underhill

When we allow ourselves to be wooed by God we find ourselves going places we never thought about going before. Anchored in him we find ourselves stronger than we ever thought we were, able to withstand the greatest storms. As long as we remember Who gave us this strength, Who called us from the depths, we will find that we are able to do all things…

Heavenly Father, I thank You for calling me, pulling me, steadily and constantly. May I never forget from Where my strength comes from. Amen.

Happy are people who have pure hearts, because they will see God. ~Matthew 8:5 (CEB)

October can be so busy. I come to the end of it every time and wonder where it has gone off to. October 31st always finds me taking a deep sigh. Gone are the packed weekends. I even have a couple of weeks where we don’t feel so overly busy. Then Thanksgiving hits and we find ourselves running again.  At the end of such a busy time it seems good to remind myself of the need for silence… the inner kind of silence.

Inner silence is the absence of any sort of inward stirring thought or emotion, but it is complete alertness, openness to God. We must keep complete silence when we can, but never allow it to degenerate into simple contentment.

“Silence is the state in which all the powers of the soul and all the faculties of the body are completely at peace, quiet and recollected, perfectly alert yet free from any turmoil or agitation. A simile which we find in many writings of the Fathers is that of the waters of a pond. As long as there are ripples on the surface, nothing can be reflected properly, neither the trees nor the sky when the surface is quite still, the sky is perfectly reflected, the trees on the bank and everything is there as distinct as in reality.

Another simile of the same sort used by the Fathers is that of that as long as the mud which is at the bottom of a pond has not settled, the water is not clear and one can see nothing through it. These two analogies apply to the state of the human heart. ‘Blesses are the pure in heart for they shall see God’ As long as the mud is in motion in the water there is no clear vision through it, and again as long as the surface is covered with ripples there can be no adequate reflection of what surrounds the pond.

As long as the soul is not still there can be no vision, but when stillness has brought us into the presence of God, then another sort of silence, much more absolute, intervenes: the silence of a soul that is not only still and recollected but which is overawed in an act of worship by God’s presence; a silence in which, as Julian Norwich puts it, ‘Prayer oneth the soul to God’. ~From Living Prayer by Anthony Bloom

Heavenly Father, help me to quiet my soul this day so that I may reflect Your love to those around me. Settle the restlessness inside of me from too much activity. Quiet my heart so I may hear Your wisdom in the space. Amen.

Send your light and truth—those will guide me! Let them bring me to your holy mountain, to your dwelling place. ~Psalm 43:3 (CEB)

Now that I have discovered the navigation app on my phone I have gotten to where I will use the application even for some trips that I feel rather confident about. It has been fun to see if there are better ways to get where I need to go or to see if the route I have been choosing has been the best way all along. A few days ago I had it on while driving through slightly familiar parts when I realized that my phone was warning me of upcoming trouble. On I-24 just outside of Clarkesville, there were major traffic problems and my phone was adjusting my travel time by 15-20 min to allow for the blockage. Now that I knew there was a situation I had to make a decision whether to continue on my regular route that would take me through the situation stop, somewhere and wait out the traffic or use my phone and find an additional route to avoid the situation altogether.

From where I was I could not see any problems. My driving was not being hindered at all at the moment. Should I rely on what the phone was telling me or just take my chances? Whether to trust my phone or not that was the question. After a short discussion with myself, I decided to find an alternate route. My phone was quick to show me that I could drive on a highway that was parallel to the interstate for eleven miles and get onto the interstate at a different point. Following this suggestion didn’t save me much time, but it would save me the aggravation and stress of sitting in traffic.

Relying on the Holy Spirit more in my life makes my travels easier as well. The Holy Spirit can see ahead to things beyond my sight. If I follow the Holy Spirit’s leading it can steer me clear of roadblocks and dangers, side-stepping much aggravation and stress. The more I trust the Holy Spirit for what I can’t see the more confident my travels through life will be. I still have to travel this life. That is not an option, but I can seek God even before things become bigger than me. God will help me to be more than I am handling each situation as it comes. Fear and anxiety may always camp near my back door, but the Holy Spirit helps me to keep them at bay. I keep finding myself overwhelmed and balking at change but the Holy Spirit empowers me and gives me strength to live each day.

Heavenly Father I thank you for Your Holy Spirit that lives in me. I thank you that I can count on Your guidance in my daily life.  May it always draw my closer to You. Amen

He won’t break a bent stalk, and he won’t snuff out a smoldering wick, until he makes justice win. And the Gentiles will put their hope in his name. ~Matthew 12:20-21 (CEB)

Even though Jesus speaks out against all forms of hypocrisy and is not afraid to attack deception, vanity, manipulation and oppression, his heart is a gentle heart. He won’t break the crushed reed or snuff the faltering wick. He responds to people’s suffering, heals their wounds, and offers courage to the fainthearted. Jesus came to bring the good news to the poor, sight to the blind, and freedom to prisoners (Luke 4:18-19). Jesus considered others in all he says, and thus he reveals God’s immense compassion.

As a follower of Christ, I am to have his compassion for the world. Jesus charged us to go out declaring the good news to everyone. (Mark 16:15) To a world that may know more about fear, harshness, and misunderstandings by my gentleness I can bring hope. Jesus came into the world to give hope to the world and as his hands and feet, we are charged with continuing his work to all corners of the earth. (Luke 24:47)

In my ordinary dealings this day may I remember to show Christ’s compassion to those around me. May I consider others in all I say and do remembering that I may be the only Christ others see. My actions can bring someone to Christ or it may turn them away forever. Today I want to have Christ’s gentleness.

Father in Heaven may I learn to have Your gentle heart showing your compassion to those I meet this day. Amen.