Pieces of the Puzzle

In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God. The Word was with God in the beginning. Everything came into being through the Word, and without the Word nothing came into being. What came into being through the Word was life, and the life was the light for all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness doesn’t extinguish the light. John 1:1-5 (CEB)

“Words are important.  Without them, our actions lose meaning.  And without meaning, we cannot live.   Words can offer perspective, insight, understanding, and vision.  Words can bring consolation, comfort, encouragement, and hope.  Words can take away fear, isolation, shame, and guilt.  Words can reconcile, unite, forgive, and heal.  Words can bring peace and joy, inner freedom and deep gratitude.  Words, in short, can carry love on their wings.  A word of love can be the greatest act of love.  That is because when our words become flesh in our own lives and the lives of others, we can change the world.

Jesus is the Word made flesh.  In him speaking and acting were one.” ~Henri Nouwen, The Wounded Healer

May the words I speak this day bear in mind the power that is in the word. When my son asks for comfort may I not spout it lightly, when my daughter asks for love may it not be thrown out carelessly. This day may I take a moment and remember that once words take flight they can never be brought back, only forgiven. May my words this day bear the love I have for God to everyone I met. May my words bring light, not darkness.

Heavenly Father, through Your words everything came into being. Help me to remember the power of words. I thank You for expressions of love that we can share, I thank You that words can bring comfort, joy, and peace. Guard my words in all I do this day, may they always reflect Your love. Amen.

But you know all about it— the contempt, the abuse. I dare to believe that the luckless will get lucky someday in you. You won’t let them down: orphans won’t be orphans forever. ~Psalm 10:14 (MSG) 

Every Fourth of July since I was very small, I have traveled to Huntington Indiana for a family reunion. My dad has three brothers and four sisters all who had large families too and most of them came every year for a celebration. At noon we would gather for a big meal. Much talk and lots of fun were had by all. The visiting would continue throughout the day into the evening. Roasting hot dogs and marshmallows, swimming in the lake, capture the flag in the dark… all memories I look back on with fondness. I could paint this picture with all the skill of a fine master painter leaving out things like mosquito bites and sunburns. I could also easily leave out of this picture that I paint that this family is not really mine.

After my parents had been married for a year, my dad adopted me. My birth father never contested it. Even though God sent me a wonderful man to be my father I still felt the sting of the rejection. I always wondered why I was so unlovable.

I still travel to the family reunions, now bringing my own family along. Although I have been adopted into this family for forty plus years now, I still feel like I am just pretending- that I don’t really belong. My head tells me that I am part of this family but my heart still remembers that once there was someone who didn’t want me. In college, I went through a difficult time and was really struggling to figure out just who I was compared to what I had been told. In my own way I rebelled and hide, but one thing I just couldn’t hide from was my Bible. That semester I read Romans through and through and it brought some balm to my tender soul. I read, again and again, Romans chapters 8 and 9. I learned that even though I may feel unloved, through Jesus Christ I was adopted into, grafted into a family that was True. In the Bible, I could find a heritage that was mine to claim. Romans told me that the love God had for me would never fluctuate or die

God never leaves us where we are,   John 14:18 says, “I won’t leave you as orphans. I will come to you. (CEB)” Romans 9:8 says it “isn’t the natural children who are God’s children, but it is the children from the promise who are counted as descendants. (MSG)” Jesus said in Matthew 12:50, “Whoever does the will of my Father who is in heaven is my brother, sister, and mother.” John 1:13 says I am a child of God, “born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God. (NIV)” The Bible assures me that I am loved and wanted as part of a family. Just because those who are supposed to love us cannot does not mean that God will not send others so that He can love us through them. We can’t reject the love He sends just because someone else could not or did not. He sends us mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers in Christ to walk with us on this journey.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for loving me. I thank You for family You send my way to ease the travels of this life. May I always be quick to show Your love to others that I meet along the way. Amen

I will instruct you and teach you about the direction you should go. I’ll advise you and keep my eye on you. ~Psalm 32:8 (CEB)

Life can be overwhelming. Ultimately the only thing I can control is my own life and what will happen to me. And even that is limited. The easiest thing would be to live in a guarded, safe, controlled way, to stop taking risks and to be ruled by my fears of “what might happen”. Turning inward is one way to respond to life’s uncertainties. The other is to acknowledge my lack of control and to reach up for God’s help.  Knowing that I cannot control my circumstances is important.

If life was stable, I’d never need God. Since it isn’t stable I reach out to God often. It can be difficult to be thankful for the unkowns in life. It is scary to think I have very limited control but these situations cause me to run to God. A spirit of fear can immobilize me and enforce my want of a more guarded and safe life where variables are more controlled. God does not want me to live this way. He wants me to be adventurous.

One Easter since we have no family in town my husband, son and I set out after church just to see what we could see. We had no real plan except to spend the day together. We got in the car and headed out over the Foothills Parkway. We stopped at every overlook and got out to see each view of the mountains. We stopped at a stream and threw rocks into the water. Then when we made it to the other side of the parkway we decided to turn left onto Hwy 129 and head toward North Carolina. Still, no real plan, just not ready to head home we followed Hwy 129 through all its switches back and forth, over and around the mountains. We enjoyed the views and the beautiful day. After we crossed over the state line we were close to Fontana Village and since my husband had worked there one summer while in college he thought it would be fun to look around. While we walked around we stumbled across an Easter egg hunt and my son was invited to join in.

We enjoyed exploring Fontana Village. Again we found that we were not ready to call it a day. Since we would be passing Fontana dam our way back home, we thought we would check it out too. Before getting to the dam we stumbled upon Fontana Lake and took a few minutes to explore the boat dock there before continuing on to the dam. Slowly we meandered our way to the dam where we found that the views were glorious. We wandered around, walked over the dam and around the little visitor’s center.

It was a wonderful day. We had nowhere to rush off to, the weather was beautiful and we were not expecting certain things out of our day out. We just took it all as it came. I told my son who exclaimed what a great time he had had that we could never have planned that day. A day like that day just happens. A day like that cannot be controlled and still have the same enjoyment. It was the spirit of exploring that made that day special.

An adventurer never knows what treasures will be stumbled upon and those precious moments can never be planned. Although an adventure seems risky the rewards are always worthwhile. With God at my side, the risks of living are never too great and I often prize those things God has done when I live my life. With my eyes on God, I can have the confidence to step out on faith to see in the world what there is to see, one little treasure at a time.

Heavenly Father, grant to me this day an adventurous heart to bravely go out into the world a little out of control for You. Help me to store all the treasures I find deep in my heart to be pulled out and shared with others along the way. May I never be so self-controlled that I miss out on the joy You have in store for me. Watch closely over me and guide me in the way that I should go. I thank you for Your love. Amen.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathise with our weaknesses, but we have one who in every respect has been tested as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Heb 4:15-12 (NRSV)

When I make the choice to be a follower of Christ, I will face opposition. The opposition may arise within me; it may arise among fellow Christians, or it may arise in the world around me. It may be subtle, blatant, mild, or severe. The question is not will it come but how to respond when I am faced with opposition.

The opposition from within myself comes from my commitment to a life long journey with the Holy Spirit as my navigator. Distress can arise from finding myself heading in a direction that I am not sure about. I find that I am not called to go to the places that I feel comfortable traveling. Sometimes I feel like the connection is lost while I am to wait or remain silent. Doing the right thing does not lend itself to easy directions. When the connection is clear I can find that the path I am to follow is not one I would have chosen.

When I turn to my Bible I find good news! I am not alone in my struggles. Reading about Gideon in the Bible shows me that it is possible to face the unknown, impossible odds, staggering opposition without fear and without defeat. Abraham was called to leave all that he knew for the promise of a better life. I can turn to the Bible for inspiration for my struggles but I can not expect to be instantly where Mary was in her witness. Neither can I think that there is something wrong with me because I struggle with an internal or external opposition. It is in opposition that Jesus seeks to form me and grow me into the person he wants me to be. It is the process of moving from infant milk to adult food (Heb 5:13).

How am I to face opposition when it comes? Squarely, humbly, openly, and with all the faith I can muster. “…For Surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope (Jer. 29:10-11)

Heavenly Father, I thank You for the example of Christ and for the Holy Spirit that lives in me guiding me where I am to go. I know You hold my future and Your plans are for my good. Stay close as I go through these growing pains and bolster my heart to always do your will. Amen.

If I could fly on the wings of dawn, stopping to rest only on the far side of the ocean— even there your hand would guide me; even there your strong hand would hold me tight! ~Psalm 139:9-10

Psalm 139 is my favorite of all Psalms. Verse 15 speaks of God knowing me while I was in the womb of my mother. He knows how I was put together and how I would develop once outside in the world. He saw my whole life before Him while I was still in the womb. He saw the heartaches I would endure, the strength I would gain and the love I would share.

God knows all my thoughts. He saw them before I ever had them. It does not surprise Him when I go astray. He completely surrounds me and keeps a hand on me. I am never alone. Even if I try to run away, He is still with me. There is nowhere I can hide from His presence. Even if I go down into the depths of despair He is there right beside me. Though darkness surrounds me and hides me from others it is not too dark for God to find me.

I can rely on God truly knowing me from the inside out. I cannot hide who I am from God. Though no one sees me for who I really am I can count on God truly knowing me… and still loving me. He knows how I feel about all the injustice in the world and when I don’t react in the way I should He gently reminds me that He once loved me when I was still astray.

God’s plans are beyond my understanding to numerous for me to comprehend. His love for me is humbling. If I came to the end of time I would still find myself in His hands.

Heavenly Father, look at my heart! Put me to the test! Know my anxious thoughts! Look to see if there is any idolatrous way in me, then lead me on the eternal path! Amen.  

I say be guided by the Spirit and you won’t carry out your selfish desires. A person’s selfish desires are set against the Spirit, and the Spirit is set against one’s selfish desires. They are opposed to each other, so you shouldn’t do whatever you want to do. But if you are being led by the Spirit, you aren’t under the Law… But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against things like this. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified self with its passions and its desires. If we live by the Spirit, let’s follow the Spirit. Let’s not become arrogant, make each other angry, or be jealous of each other. ~Gal 5:16-18, 22-26 (CEB)

One of the most intimidating things to me as a child was witnessing about God. Growing up in church we were taught this was important work for God. Wondering where and how to bring God up in my conversations and how to convince others of the need of God’s presence in their life was overwhelming.

As an adult I still find myself overwhelmed with the thought of giving my “testimony”, sharing how God has worked in my life to others. Henri Nouwen in his book The Wounded Healer says, “The way God’s Spirit manifests itself most convincingly is through its fruits:  “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, trustfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22).  These fruits speak for themselves.  It is therefore always better to raise the question ‘How can I grow in the Spirit?’  then the question  ‘How can I make others believe in the Spirit?’” By allowing the fruits of the Spirit to work through my life and shine out to others, I can serve God as a living example.

Verse 24 says, “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified self with its passions and its desires.” When I am ruled by my “self” it is hard for the fruit of the Spirit to shine through to others. I find myself becoming arrogant, jealous and angry. When I live by the Spirit it is easier to show love to others; joy despite present circumstances; peace that passes all understanding; kindness even when I am not shown it in return, goodness even when it’s not the easiest path; trustfulness in all circumstances; gentleness instead of forcing my ideas; and self-control even when I am afraid.

When “self” is at the center of my daily life I cannot be a good testament to the love and good works of God. Only when I die to “self” and am lead by the Holy Spirit can I begin to live the example that shows that God is alive and at work in me. By living differently than the world lives, I invite others to wonder and sometimes ask what is different in my life. Thus doors are opened for conversation without my forcing my way in.

Lord, I thank You for Your Spirit that lives in me. May I ever be listening to its promptings and allowing the gifts of the Spirit to work in me and shine though me as a beacon to others that leads to You. Amen.

What we say is wisdom to people who are mature. It isn’t a wisdom that comes from the present day or from today’s leaders who are being reduced to nothing. We talk about Gods wisdom, which has been hidden as a secret. God determined this wisdom in advance, before time began, for our glory. .. But this is precisely what is written: God has prepared things for those who love him that no eye has seen, or ear has heard, or that haven’t crossed the mind of any human being. God has revealed these things to us through the Spirit. The Spirit searches everything, including the depths of God. Who knows a person’s depths except their own spirit that lives in them? In the same way, no one has known the depths of God except Gods Spirit. We haven’t received the world’s spirit but Gods Spirit so that we can know the things given to us by God. These are the things we are talking about—not with words taught by human wisdom but with words taught by the Spirit—we are interpreting spiritual things to spiritual people. ~1Cor 2:6-13 (CEB)

It is so easy in my finite view of life to second guess God but my viewpoint is limited. I have to remind myself that there is a bigger picture that I am a small part of. A picture that God in His wisdom has prepared in advance before time began.

Wikipedia describes wisdom as a “deep understanding and realization of people, things, events or situations, resulting in the ability to apply perceptions, judgments, and actions in keeping with this understanding. It often requires control of one’s emotional reactions so that universal principles, reason, and knowledge prevail to determine one’s actions. Wisdom is also the comprehension of what is true coupled with optimum judgment as to action.”

It is only when I read the Bible in its entirety that I begin to see the ‘optimum judgment”, “wise outlook”, and “insight” God had in His dealings with human beings. Only in looking at the big picture can I see  God’s wisdom for us. With a finite view, it can be easy to be lead astray from the truth. We get a glimpse into His wisdom through His word which was also with Him in the beginning. “In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God. The Word was with God in the beginning. Everything came into being through the Word, and without the Word nothing came into being. What came into being through the Word was life, and the life was the light for all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness doesn’t extinguish the light.” (John 1:1-5 CEB)

God`s wisdom is interwoven throughout time. Studying His word helps me to tap into this sum of learning, helping me to discern what is true, right and lasting. The Bible helps me to see beyond my own emotions to reason, knowledge and to a course of action. It doesn’t matter if my own viewpoint is limited. Through the Word, I have an eternal viewpoint that crosses all the ages into eternity. Every time I read His word I touch a piece of His wisdom.

Don’t be afraid of them because the LORD your God is the one who will be fighting for you. ~Deut. 3:22 (CEB)

Do not be afraid. This is a phrase that is used throughout the Bible from Genesis to Revelations. It seems these words are said during times of great change or before a call of service. To Abraham when he was called to leave all he had ever known. To Moses who was called to lead his people out of Egypt; to Joshua who was called to lead the people out of the desert into the Promised Land.  Gideon.., Samuel.., Joseph…

Mary was called at a young age. The first words that were spoke to her were “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God.” (Luke 1:30) Before Mary hears anything else, God first wants Mary to hear that she is safe and that she has found approval from God. Her identity is a gift ~ “favored child of God”. These words are meant to strengthen and empower. To others Mary may seem an unlikely candidate for helping God save the world. She is young, poor, has no social standing and she is female.  Nothing about Mary declares that she can be who she is called to be apart from God.

Mary is treasured as the mother of Jesus. At one point she was just flesh and blood, just like me, no stronger or more intelligent. What elevates her was her simple offering of herself to God, knowing that she was inadequate for what God called her to do, but with a willing heart to go where He wanted her to go. She knew she was limited in what she could do apart from God. It is her willing heart that has set her apart.

I have a gift from God, His love for me. My identity is that I am a Beloved child of God. I am called to hear His voice among my crowded and distracted life. What is my call? My call is to hear and to be willing to go where He leads me. “Stand at the crossroads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way lies; and walk in it…” (Jer. 6:16) Nothing is more urgent in my life than the yearning to know and do God’s will. Every day I need to ask God, “Where are you leading me today?”

Every day is a crossroads Lord. Will I do your will, or will I follow my own desires? Lead me in the way I am to go.  I know that I am limited by what I can do on my own but with the Holy Spirit directing me I can know and do Your will. I thank You for Your love. Amen.

When the crowd heard this, they were deeply troubled. They said to Peter and the other apostles, “Brothers, what should we do?” Peter replied, “Change your hearts and lives. Each of you must be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. This promise is for you, your children, and for all who are far away—as many as the Lord our God invites.” ~Acts 2:37-39 (CEB)

Maybe it is hearing tv evangelists or street corner preachers that plant the idea in our heads that coming to Christ is a lightning bolt moment. While coming to Christ may seem like a once-in-a-lifetime experience it is really an ongoing journey within us. Conversion is a lifelong process of turning more and more fully toward God in all that we are, possess, and do. I can look back over my life and see earthshaking moments that seemed to shift my life more in line with Christ. But such moments are just part of the process, not the end as I give myself over to the transforming power of God.

It took a long time for me to come to terms with the fact that change is not instantaneous. While conversion requires our decision and action, it takes time to change us into the image of Christ. I have also learned that it took time to develop my bad habits so it will also take time to undo the habits I have formed. Without the work of undoing the bad habits they will come back or new bad habits will take their place. (Matt 12:43-45)

Macrina Wiederkehr in her book, A Tree Full of Angels, gives us an insight into Paul’s conversion experience, “When Saul was knocked down by that flash of lightening, that was not conversion. That was just God getting his attention. The conversion came as he groped his way in blindness to Ananias, able to see with interior eyes because he had no external eyes to depend on. His conversion continued day after day as he began to give meaning to his new name, Paul. He was still in the process of conversion when he was on his way to Rome in chains.”

I get a glimpse of Paul’s ongoing conversion when I read in Romans 7:15-21, “I don’t know what I’m doing, because I don’t do what I want to do. Instead, I do the thing that I hate. But if I’m doing the thing that I don’t want to do, I’m agreeing that the Law is right. But now I’m not the one doing it anymore. Instead, its sin that lives in me. I know that good doesn’t live in me—that is, in my body. The desire to do good is inside of me, but I can’t do it. I don’t do the good that I want to do, but I do the evil that I don’t want to do. But if I do the very thing that I don’t want to do, then I’m not the one doing it anymore. Instead, it is sin that lives in me that is doing it. So I find that, as a rule, when I want to do what is good, evil is right there with me.”

Conversion is an awakening of the spirit. Suddenly the world begins to make sense despite the absurdity, the injustice, the pain. Our vision is opened up enough to be able to absorb the contradictions and the collision of opposites. We go from being blind or short sighted to seeing with God’s eyes. The love of God dawns upon us and with it comes the most amazing promise and a new hope. What we cannot redeem, God can, and what we cannot erase God will.

Heavenly Father, I thank you for Your grace that saves me. I thank You for awakening my spirit and the transformation You allow in my life. I claim the strength You promise as I try to do Your will, one day at a time. Amen.

Teach me your way, LORD, so that I can walk in your truth. Make my heart focused only on honoring your name. I give thanks to you, my Lord, my God, with all my heart, and I will glorify your name forever, because your faithful love toward me is awesome and because you’ve rescued my life from the lowest part of hell. ~Psalm 86:11-13 (CEB)

What is God’s wish for us? His wish is for us to serve through love in action, and to be inspired by the Holy Spirit to act when called. The Holy Spirit plants seeds, little nudges- feelings that this or that should be done or not done; we get hunches and leadings, signs and signals, and sometimes direct messages. When I make myself available by always giving and unqualified yes when God invites obedience, witness and service, I permit signs and wonders to occur with and through my life.

Wouldn’t it be remarkable that when God put an idea into our mind we could comprehend that idea and immediately act upon it with unquestioning determination? The more I walk in truth the more I give my heart to God undivided.  The more I revere His name the more I am able to discern His will and the actions He desires me to make. The less I hesitate or second guess His prodding’s the more assured I can be stepping out to do His will. The more I say “Yes Lord” the more joyful I am in my work. “Yes, you will go out with celebration, and you will be brought back in peace. Even the mountains and the hills will burst into song before you; all the trees of the field will clap their hands.” (Isa 55:12)

God calls me to a spiritual life.  A life living in which I bear witness joined with the Holy Spirit that I belong to God as a beloved child (Rom 8:16). Part of discerning God’s will for my life involves every aspect of my life. Paul says, “Whatever you eat, then, or drink, and whatever else you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Cor 10:31). When I discern God’s will and act upon it I give glory to God and give full visibility to His signs and wonders.

Living a spiritual life is living a life in which my spirit and the Spirit of God bear a joint witness that I belong to God as God’s beloved child, (see Romans 8:16).   This witness involves every aspect of my life.  Paul says:  “Whatever you eat, then, or drink, and whatever else you do, do it all for the glory of God”(1 Corinthians 10:31).  And we are the glory of God when we give full visibility of what it means to live in communion with God’s Spirit. “God delivers and rescues, He works wonders in heaven and on Earth. (Dan 6:27).
Heavenly Father, allow the Spirit to manifest itself through me as I learn to discern and do Your will. I thank You for rescuing me and the wonders You have done in my life. May I ever bear witness to Your love in all I do this day. Amen.