Pieces of the Puzzle

A certain man was there who had been sick for thirty- eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there, knowing that he had already been there a long time, he asked him, “ Do you want to get well?” The sick man answered him, “Sir, I don’t have anyone who can put me in the water when it is stirred up. When I’m trying to get to it, someone else has gotten in ahead of me.” Jesus said to him, “ Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” Immediately the man was well, and he picked up his mat and walked. Now that day was the Sabbath.~John 5:5-9 (CEB)

“Do you want to get well?” These words always jump out at me.  Who wouldn’t want to get well? Thirty-eight years is a long time to be unwell.  After such a long time you might get used to being sick, and developed some strong bad habits that keep you sick. After closer inspection I am forced to ask, do I really want to get well? Sometimes I am so attached to my illness (or my addiction) that I prefer being sick. It has become comfortable. Or it could be the crutch I use to hide.

God doesn’t bring healing unless I want to be whole. I am asked to be part of the healing process. Even in miraculous healing, I am expected to participate in the process. The mental desire to be well must shift to a physical act. I am asked to walk through the doors of healing.

If I am to be well I must be careful that my time is not spent in the waiting to be healed. Do I list reasons why I can’t get well? Do I blame my circumstances? Do I blame the people around me? Am I hanging out with others who are sick as well?

I can blame my circumstances or I can allow the healing waters inside of me to be stirred. In the getting up and rolling up my mat healing can occur.

Heavenly Father, stir the waters in my heart. Give me enough strength for this day to live healthily. Bring me one day closer to complete healing.  Amen.

Let’s hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering, because the one who made the promises is reliable. Let’s also think about how to motivate each other to show love and to do good works. Don’t stop meeting together with other believers, which some people have gotten into the habit of doing. Instead, encourage each other, especially as you see the day drawing near. ~Heb. 10:23-25 (CEB)

There seems to be many people who have begun to lose hope. Those who hunger for life’s basic needs but see no relief; those who see too many problems and cannot see a solution. When there is no hope, there is no life- we lose our will to fight, to trust, or to live.

Sometimes problems seem hopeless both to the victims and bystanders. Hope is inseparably connected to love and faith… God’s love and faithfulness. We can trust and hope that He continues to supply the needs of many through us and through all the means available today.  Hebrews 10:23 says, “Let’s hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering because the one who made the promises is reliable”. Empowered by hope in God we can do great things

I begin to lose hope when the world’s problems seem too big to handle. My heart cries out at the needs of others and I begin to feel overwhelmed with the needs. When Pastor Amy Probst said in her sermon series Sharing God’s Abundance the words, “There is too much for us to do everything but there is enough for each of us to do something”, I began to stop looking at the “big problem” of hunger. Instead, I began to see how I could help with “small actions” by collecting food at a food drive, serving meals at the Welcome Table and participating in Crop Drops.

When I ignore a problem, I begin to believe that there is no way that the situation can change. I sometimes find that I begin to accept that that is just the nature of things. I become blind to the need. With a sweet potato drop that I participated in a few weeks back, I felt that each potato I picked up was one more meal for someone who was hungry. The sweet potato drop was a tangible situation where I could be a part of the solution instead of just ignoring the problem. Who knew that hope could come in the form of a huge sweet potato that was too big for the market? Hope not just for the people who would receive a meal, but hope for the people who gave of their time to be a part of the solution.

Through our good works not only do we see hope begin to flicker in the eyes of others but we find by reaching out that hope begins to grow in us as well. Hope is the opportunity to be a part of the solution. As we reach out encouragement goes both ways and the lines between victim and bystander are demolished.

Heavenly Father, May I not become blind to the problems of the world. May I always see with Your eyes and feel with Your heart. May I see “small solutions” to the “big problems” that face our society and be Your hands and feet in the world. Amen.

At the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. Because of this, a man should leave his father and mother and be joined together with his wife, and the two will be one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, humans must not pull apart what God has put together.” ~Mark 10:6-9 (CEB)

26 years ago, this day was my wedding day. When vows are exchanged I think most people do mean them when they are said, but there is a lot to “for richer or poorer”, “in sickness or in health”, and “to death do us part.” There is a lot of living in these words. Words that are hard to comprehend until you have lived them.

It is beyond our comprehension what richer or poorer means when we first start out as a young couple. In sickness and in health is far beyond the common cold. And death? Well, who knew there could be “living-deaths”? There can be a lot of hurts collected in living through rough times. It is no wonder that 50% of marriages end in divorce. So when you look at a marriage that has lasted 10, 20…30 years you have to know that it was not because of “happily ever after” that they survived. It was work that kept them together.

The day I married my husband, I am sure there were stars in my eyes. I didn’t know then that living life would cause me to love my husband even more than I did that day. I didn’t know that our love was simply a seed and that living and loving and forgiving would cause us to grow closer and to love even more deeply.

There are many things in life that we can’t begin to grasp the full meaning of until we begin to live it out. When the disciples began their journey with Jesus they had certain expectations in mind. With Jesus’ death on the cross, their expectations were shattered. This was not the happily ever after they had had in mind when they followed after Christ. But once the pieces of their shattered expectations were collected and thrown away the reality of just what they did have begun to shine through. Being a disciple of Christ was different than what they had first understood it to be but far more wonderful than they had imagined.

Expectations can be hard to overcome. When they are shattered it is not the end, it is the beginning. Once we sweep away what we think should be we can then truly begin to live in the way that God intended.

Heavenly Father, I thank You this day for my husband and my family. I thank You for all of my life, the first part and the second. Continue to bless us with many more years to come. Amen.

“Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.” ~Isa 6:3 (NIV)

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.” ~Rev. 4:8 (NIV)

What do we mean when we say that God is holy? It is not that we are naming an attribute among many others such as love and mercy and wisdom and power. No, we are attempting to find something that collectively gathers and applies all His attributes. When we say God is Holy we are saying that He is unchangeable. Nothing about Him changes; His love never fluctuates; His mercy is inexhaustible; His wisdom cherishes all that is truly good; His power can always be trusted.

From One who never changes I do not need to wonder what will be the response when I turn to Him, whether in the dark of night or in the light of day. It matters not who I am or who I will be. It matters not where I have been or where I will go. I can seek Him in my strength and in my weakness. He is always God.

There are days that I fail family and friends. No matter how hard I try I cannot always be what they want me to be. Sometimes my failure may seem to push them away. They feel deprived of what they should have from me. But nothing is missing from God. Only He can handle all our high expectations. He will never disappoint. He knows the true desire of the heart and He answers those prayers.

Heavenly Father, I am so thankful that Your love never changes, Your mercy inexhaustible, Your wisdom timeless and Your power my only strength. Only You are Holy. Amen.

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” ~Matthew 26:36-38

“When Jesus begins his public ministry, one of the first things he does is to find companions, those individuals who will share his life and ministry in a special way. Whenever Jesus faces a difficult situation, he gathers these companions around himself- sometimes all twelve, sometimes only a few. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Savior of the world, needed the companionship of others. Even he, as strong and powerful and food as he was, couldn’t go it alone.” ~From Abundant Treasures by Melannie Svoboda

Isn’t that comforting? The Son of God did not go through his time here on earth alone. He was not intended to. If one of the Trinity, who had a part in the creation of the world, needed friendship and companions don’t you think we need this too? It is so easy to fall into a trap of believing that I need to do this journey called life on my own. Then get mad because I fail miserably.

We were not meant to face the challenges of life without the support of others. The need for companionship is not something to be ashamed of. It is part of the very fabric of our human psyche. This need for others is not about being weak, or immature. This need for others is one more way that we are made in the image and likeness of God.

Jesus didn’t include everyone in his personal business. He had lots of followers, but only 12 were in his inner circle. There is wisdom in this as well. Just as we were never meant to travel through life alone, it is also best to not disclose every detail of your personal life with everyone you come in contact with. Not everyone can be trusted. Even in his inner circle Jesus knew who he could trust. Only Peter, James and John got the privilege of seeing Jesus for who he truly was, the Son of God (Mark 9:1-8).

There is much value in seeking friends to walk life’s journey. They help center us, encourage us and support us. It may seem weakness to seek out companionship, but remember; when we are weak we are strong.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for companions you send to travel this journey with me. May I add strength to others journeys too. Amen.

We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. ~Romans 6:2

When I say I long for freedom, freedom from what? Freedom from the illusion of control, that if I can just make sure things line-up just so nothing bad is going to happen. Freedom from the need to be right all the time, that sometimes I simply just don’t know the answers.  Freedom from the fears of serious things, like being lost, getting sick, the death of a loved one.  Freedom from irrational things like an organized house will bring peace and the feeling of order or that making everyone else happy can by some miracle make me happy.

When I say that “I can’t”, when I see that “God can”, when I take the action of letting Him handle all things then I can experience freedom. Freedom from the try-hard life where I stay strong, put on a good front and think that I can handle all things my-self. When I trust, allowing my “self” to fall to the ground like a seed, that shell of my self-life can burst, allowing the Healers life to burst forth.

New life brings freedom. God’s life allows me to experience a freedom I can never find on my own. I just have to allow myself to be buried with Jesus so that I may also be raised into a new life free of trying hard (and missing the mark).

Heavenly Father, I find myself trying so hard. I want to control everything and know all the answers. Please free my from my “self” so that I may have true life through You. Amen.

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. ~1 Corinthians 12:27 (NIV)

“Special,” my daughter would tell me when she was twelve,  means that you are different. Being different apparently, means there is something wrong with you. God didn’t make us all the same. It would be boring if He did! There is no comfort when you tell your children that God has made us all different.

Sometimes I too find myself longing for someone else’s kind of different. It might be nice to be more outgoing maybe even flamboyant. Some days I think it might be nice to not be so contemplative and analytical. Although sometimes I do find myself more outgoing than others I cannot change the personality that is me.

Henri Nouwen in his book, Bread for the Journey says this about temperaments, “Our temperaments – whether flamboyant, phlegmatic, introverted, or extroverted – are quite permanent fixtures of our personalities.  Still, the way we “use” our temperaments on a daily basis can vary greatly.  When we are attentive to the Spirit of God within us, we will gradually learn to put our temperaments in the service of a virtuous life.  Then flamboyancy gives great zeal for the Kingdom, phlegmatism helps to keep an even keel in times of crisis, introversion deepens the contemplative side, and extroversion encourages creative ministry.”

Nouwen goes on to say that we should treat our temperaments as we do gifts that help us deepen our spiritual lives. God made different people because He has different kinds of service. Instead of looking at how it must be nice to be comfortable in a crowd of people, I should use my contemplative nature as God intends, in service to Him.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for my kind of different. May I use who I am in service to You. Amen.

Then Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, how many times should I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Should I forgive as many as seven times?” Jesus said, “Not just seven times, but rather as many as seventy- seven times. -Matthew 18:22-23 (CEB)

“Community is not possible with out the willingness to forgive one another”seventy times seven”. Forgiveness is the cement of community life.  Forgiveness holds us together through good times and bad times and allows us to grow in mutual love…

To forgive a person from the heart is an act of liberation. We set that person free from the negative bonds that exist between us. We say, “I no longer hold your offense against you.” But there is more. Were also free ourselves from the burden of being the”offended one.” As long as we do not forgive those who have wounded us, we carry them with us or, pull them as a heavy load. The great temptation is to cling in anger to our enemies and then define ourselves as being offended and wounded by them. Forgiveness, therefore, liberates not only the other but also ourselves. It is the way to the freedom of the children of God.” -From Bread for the Journey,  by Henri Nouwen

Forgiveness may be the number one reason that keeps us from living free. It is hard to extend forgiveness to those who have failed us. Especially when they have failed us again, and again… and again. Sometimes I find myself asking,  “God,  just how often should I forgive?” His reply is, “Every time.”

I know forgiveness sets me free.  But this is one area I seem to struggle with on a regular basis especially when it deals with something I want to be changed and promises have been made and changes don’t come… or come as soon as I would like. But in the quiet of the night, when I am receptive again to God’s voice, I hear whispered in my ear, “Every time.”

Heavenly Father, I thank you for the countless times You have forgiven me. Give me the strength today to forgive again and every time. Amen.

Early in the morning, well before sunrise, Jesus rose and went to a deserted place where he could be alone in prayer. ~Mark 1:35 (CEB)

It is that time of year again time to schedule, plan and gather information. There is something comforting in the laying out of information and the putting plans on a calendar for me to follow. There is nothing like having “life” laid out on paper (or computer) and knowing where you will be and what you will be doing when. At the same time, it is very daunting as well. Sometimes after getting into the new schedule, I find there is little or no margin. I have learned just because it works out on paper doesn’t mean that it will work out in real life.

So as I look at lesson plans, art projects, Bible studies, music lessons and gymnastics, I am reminded that I must allow some breathing room in my schedule for the “what-ifs”.  I am reminded that a schedule that I am able, to begin with, is not necessarily the same one that I can keep up with. I need room to breathe. I need margin in my schedule before I begin to feel that there is not enough of me to go around. As I plan out how I am going to take care of those around me, I need to also remember to give myself some space.

Jesus realized that he needed times to have space to breathe. He regularly took the time to slip away for time with God. No matter the needs of the people there was still a need for quiet to spend time with his Father.

When I don’t plan some margin in my schedule so that I can find places of rest and times to connect with God I find that I can’t keep up with things. Then I find that it is tempting to cut rest and quiet to make up for my lack of time to get other things done. How crazy is that? The most needed things, rest, quiet, time with God are the things that slowly get left out when we scramble to keep up with our life.

Heavenly Father, in my planning, help me to stick to the need for margins that will allow me the time I need for quiet, rest and most importantly, time with You. Amen.

The woman said, “I know that the Messiah is coming, the one who is called the Christ. When he comes, he will teach everything to us.”  Jesus said to her, “I Am—the one who speaks with you.” … The woman put down her water jar and went into the city. She said to the people, “Come and see a man who has told me everything I’ve done! Could this man be the Christ?” They left the city and were on their way to see Jesus. ~John 4:25-30 (CEB)

What did the woman at the well need? Healing, love, closure. What was it that Jesus was offering her at the well? Real love.  Not temporary, momentary love, but deep, lasting love that could satisfy her for all time. She had tried to heal her broken heart, one messed up relationship at a time. Jesus gets right to the heart of the matter. “Where have you been looking for love?” In all the wrong places.

There is no condemnation in Jesus’ questions. Without addressing the hard questions, healing cannot happen. “Come to me,” is his reply, “I can give you that true love you long for. Come to me, and you will never be hungry or thirsty again. Come to me, and I will heal your broken heart.” No matter what we are broken from aren’t these words that need to be heard?

What was the response the woman had to Jesus’ words? She immediately went to tell others what she had found. She wanted to share the good news. She went back to the same people who had probably been critical of her situation. The same people who probably didn’t know that underneath the behavior was a deep pain. The woman at the well had found healing, closure, and a new life. She was unable to contain the news. It bubbled up from her.

When we look to heal our brokenness on our own or through someone else, we find ourselves going again and again to the wrong places. There is only one Source. When healing is found, and joy is complete, we find we can’t keep this miracle to our self.  Good news must be shared even to the ones who never understood our pain.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for giving me a real love that touches the depth of my soul. I thank You that healing can happen when I take the time to ask the tough questions. Amen.